Safer Sex Guidelines

What follows are my own guidelines for safer sex, that will protect you from more then just STD's (They include some emotional rules as well as physical ones). In these rules there will be several links to other pages and opinions. Hope they help you as much as they have helped me over the years.

This is the number one rule because it over rides everything else. It is your body and you DO decide how it's shared with anyone else. If it makes you uncomfortable, DON'T DO IT! (This includes more then just sex, also - it means everything!)

#2 Be Informed! How can you know what will make you uncomfortable if you don't know the consequences? There is more then one way to view any situation. This is more then just STD's (Though that is a very big part of it). This includes your emotional well being and the same for your partner(s) (see some of the other rules). Here are just a few links that can help to educate you on several topics.

#3 Assume they have HIV (or whatever else)!
If You can't be informed or just don't have the information available - assume the worst. If you do this - You will stay within your minimum safe guidelines - you will not do anything that makes you uncomfortable (Rule #1) or that you will regret. Remember, as information becomes available you can always alter your behavior. You can't go back in time and change what you have already done.
#4 Don't impair your judgment! You can't follow through on the first rules if you can't even make the decisions which will effect you. Drugs and Alcohol are the big ones but there are others (don't rule out things like emotional stress). Know your limits and make arrangements if you know you will not be able to make your own decisions. Likewise, Know the limits of your partner(s) and respect them. Don't take advantage of some else's effected judgment. You should never wake up the next morning knowing you've done something that you will regret for a long time (or next to someone with that feeling).

#5 Know the difference between love and sex. (If you don't think there is a difference make sure your partner(s) know that, and realize there are people out there that do - and have very different ways of defining the line)

#6 As hard as it may be, Take responsibility for your own actions and body. Discuss health problems, relationship involvement's, and intentions (or at least do everything in your power to protect them from what you didn't tell them - AND be prepared for the consequences if they find out).

#7 Don't get involved with any one already involved in a relationship. By this I mean no sex. This is just asking for trouble and burning bridges that you may need to cross in your escape. This is also part of being informed. Know what you're getting into (What many people forget in this case - it's not a problem between just two people any more. If you are in full control of your faculties and are aware of all the facts and decide to do this, then may the forces of nature spare you.)

Many of these rules and guide lines overlap. Fundamentally it comes down to having enough respect for yourself and your partner(s) to make an understanding. I don't care whether we are talking about Marriage or a One Night Stand. There are TWO people (minimum) involved in these situations. Oh, one last rule -

#8 HAVE FUN!! I know it may seem like to much to worry about and you will want to think of this rule first, but trust me - It's much better to worry first and then have fun with all the precautions taken then it is to have fun and pay for it later.

First (and only) Rule of Risk - A Risk is a Risk no matter how big or small - Do you want to take the chance? If you can't stand to lose it, then don't risk it. If you can't stand to lose it, then don't risk it.

Transmission of HIV - The HIV/AIDS virus is transmit through contact with infected fluids (blood, semen, vaginal fluids, Breast milk) to your own blood stream. Contact with your blood stream is made by contact to your blood (from needles to wounds) or through the semi-permeable mucus membranes of your body. The HIV/AIDS virus is transmit through contact with infected fluids (blood, semen, vaginal fluids, Breast milk) to your own blood stream. Contact with your blood stream is made by contact to your blood (from needles to wounds) or through the semi-permeable mucus membranes of your body.

Ask Yourself - Did a fluid that can sustain the HIV/AIDS virus make any kind of contact with my blood steam? (you now have accessed your risk)you now have accessed your risk)

Behavior and Risk assessment	Risk factors - Exceptions - Cautions
Everyday Contact - Being in the same room, eating or drinking after or food preparation by someone with the virus. No Risk	There is no risk, period, in knowing someone with the virus. The virus is not air born, nor does it stay on surfaces or in food. You do not have to wash surfaces in a special way - the virus is not there.
Everyday Physical Contact - Handshakes, Hugs, close quarters, etc. No Risk	There is no risk, period, to everyday normal contact. You can not catch HIV/AIDS from day to day contact with, or presence of, someone with HIV/AIDS.
Physical Contact (sexual - Self) - Masturbation No Risk	Self Masturbation is a no risk activity. You can't give yourself HIV (If you already have it - you are not going to make yourself 'sicker' by doing anything to yourself, it's already your virus). It is not until a partner becomes involved you have to worry (see 'Touch Sex')
Physical Contact - Sports, Fighting, Full Contact, etc. No Risk - Low Risk	Injuries are what you need to watch for - especially in a fighting situation. Has fresh blood made contact with any fresh or open wound or mucus membrane (like eyes or mouth)?
Medical Contact - from First Aid to Medical Professionals. No Risk - Low Risk	Medical Professionals have been trained in Universal precautions - they incur a greater risk of contracting the virus from you then transmitting it to you. If you are giving First Aid - Use the guidelines of the Universal Precautions (gloves and eye protection). What you are watching for is contact with fresh blood to any mucus membrane or open wound (Eyes or mouth, small cuts or cracked skin - most common on hands, thus the use of latex or rubber gloves). Blood on the surface of the skin is not a risk unless there is a way for it to get to the blood stream - it is not 'absorbed' through the skin.
Physical Contact (Sex) - Hugs to 'Heavy Petting' No Risk	There is no risk of HIV transmission anywhere from holding hands, hugs, to the various stages of being 'felt up'. Even with clothes off - there is no risk in skin to skin contact (see cautions under 'Touch Sex')
Physical Contact (Sex) - Kissing No Risk - Low Risk	There is no risk of HIV transmission in Kissing. Saliva does contain the HIV virus, but not in a transmittable way (thus you can have HIV tests with saliva swabs, but not transmit it). You have to come in contact with approximately a gallon of fresh saliva to contract the HIV virus. Exceptions - Blood or open wounds in the mouth area. Bleeding gums, 'canker' sores or any version of a herpes lesion, cuts or cold sores. These pose the risk of infection because of the blood and access to the blood stream.
Physical Contact (Sex) - Touch Sex or Masturbation (mutual) Low Risk	Contact with your hand (or other 'non-sexual' body part) with sexual organs (such as 'Fingering' a vagina or anus, and masturbating). This is a no risk activity as long as the hand (or other body part) has no cuts, abrasions, cracks, or other access to the blood stream. Also, keep sexual secretions out of eyes, mouth, or vaginal areas (this is more a concern with the male ejaculation - Where does the semen land?) Safer Suggestion - use rubber / latex gloves.
Oral Sex - Receiving Low Risk	Receiving Oral sex (Their mouth on your body parts) is almost a no risk activity. Saliva does not carry a transmittable HIV virus. What you have to watch for - Blood or wounds in their mouth. It is the Blood that transmits the virus. Also, do you have any wounds that would allow the virus entrance? Safer suggestion - use a condom or Dental dam (even non microwavable saran-wrap will work, microwavable wrap has pours that will allow the virus to pass through it) to create a barrier between your mouth and their fluids.
Oral Sex - Giving Low to HIGH RISK	Giving Oral sex is a RISK. Depending on what you are doing, you are exposing a vulnerable area to one or more of the four fluids that can transmit the virus. Any sexual fluid in the mouth (not just semen - vaginal fluids or 'pre-cum') is an HIV carrying fluid in a mucus membrane that will allow the virus into the blood stream. Saliva to stomach acid will kill the virus - but not right away. Any open wound (bleeding gums, cuts, canker sores, ulcers) are ready access to the blood stream for the virus working against you. Safer suggestion - use a condom or Dental dam (even non microwavable saran-wrap will work, microwavable wrap has pours that will allow the virus to pass through it) to create a barrier between your mouth and their fluids.
Penetrative Sex - Receiving HIGH RISK	The act of a sexual organ (most likely the male penis) entering your body (vagina or anus). This is a HIGH RISK activity because the act of penetration may cause small micro-tears (or actually tear skin) which becomes open access to the blood stream. You also have the exchange of sexual fluids (seamen and/or vaginal fluids) which do carry and transmit the HIV virus. All of these surfaces are mucus membranes which allow the virus to pass through. As the Receiving partner you become the receptacle for all the potential virus transmittable fluids (and/or injuries). Safer Suggestion - Be sure your partner uses a latex condom. Use any other safer sex barrier (such as the female condom) in the way it was meant to be used (follow the directions!). Also lubricants (water based - so they don't break down the latex of the condom) will reduce injuries - some have spermicids or other chemicals to help reduce (not stop) the risk of HIV infection.
Penetrative Sex - Giving HIGH RISK	The act of a sexual organ (most likely the male penis) entering another's body (vagina or anus). This is a HIGH RISK activity because the penis is exposed to the sexual fluids of the partner. Not only would there be a danger of transmission if there where any wounds on the penis, but also because the urethra is a mucus membrane capable of letting HIV through. Safer Suggestion - use a latex condom. Use it correctly - hence - Do NOT rip it open, push the condom to one side and tear the edge of the package carefully. Handle it carefully - Don't stretch or pull it - be careful of your finger nails. Check to make sure you are putting it on correctly (able to roll down) before it touches the penis (if you turn it over, you have already exposed the protective surface to your fluids). Put it on an ERECT penis. Pinch the tip - This keeps the air out of the condom (less likely to tear - more sensitivity for you) and gives the semen a place to go. (Guys - you know the volume you ejaculate - leave enough room ... practice if you have to.) Use only WATER BASED lubricants. Anything else will break down the latex causing it to break or tear. Roll it ALL the WAY DOWN to the base of the penis. When you are done - hold the base of the condom to make sure it comes out with you. Dispose of it properly.
Sex "Toys" No Risk - Low Risk	See Description and Precautions under Other
This is a work in progress. If you have any suggestions, comments or questions - Please e-mail me. misfit@misfitslife.com

Behavior and Risk assessment	Risk factors - Exceptions - Cautions
Drug Use - Injections HIGH RISK	This involves ANY drug which is injected ('Recreational' or Medical) with a SHARED needle. Safe recommendation - Don't Share Needles! Use a fresh, clean needle every single time. Safer recommendation - Clean the needle after every use. It is recommended that you clean with cold water (hot water makes the blood clot and harder to remove), then undiluted household bleach for two minutes (shake it), then water again to remove the bleach. It is recommend you do this three times. If you are using a detachable needle and syringe, take the equipment apart for more thorough cleaning. Be sure you discard the water and bleach after each cleaning. Again, this is not 100%, but it is safer then the alternatives. Note other injection equipment can transmit HIV (and hepatitis) if it's got blood on or in it and should be cleaned exactly the same way.
Body Art - Tattoos Low Risk	As long as the needles are clean, and unshared there is No Risk from Tattoo needles. Professional tattoo artists clean there tools and use rubber gloves. It is from 'Home' Tattoos that you run a greater risk of infection from unsterilized and shared needles. Also - As a tattoo heals, consider it an open wound. Do not expose it to another HIV carrying fluid.
Body Art - Piercing Low Risk	As long as the needles are clean, and unshared there is No Risk from Piercing needles. Professional Piercers clean there tools and use rubber gloves. It is from 'Home' piercing that you run a greater risk of infection from unsterilized and shared needles. Also - A piercing is considered an open wound. Do not expose it to another HIV carrying fluid until it is FULLY healed (check with your Piercing Professional on how long that will be. Different piercings heal at different rates).
Accidental Needle punctures No Risk - Low Risk	Should you by accident prick your finger (or other body part) with a discarded needle (of any kind) you are at a greater risk of Hepatitis or Tetanus infection then from HIV. A stabbing contact does not inject anything into your blood stream. Only surface material would make contact and HIV is a fragile virus that does not stay alive on surfaces. (Please refer to this letter from the CDC about the Urban legend of HIV infected syringes on theater seats, in coin returns, gas pumps or other circumstances).
Medical injections No Risk	Medical professionals use only fresh sterile needles and discard them after use. Medical professionals are at a greater risk of contracting the virus from you then you are from them.

Behavior and Risk assessment	Risk factors - Exceptions - Cautions
Public Restrooms No Risk	Using a public restroom, or the private restroom of someone infected with HIV, is a no risk activity. HIV does not stay on surfaces or continue to live in the water. Unsanitary conditions in a restroom are likely to spread Hepatitis, bacterial infections or Salmonella, but Does Not increase the risk of HIV.
Drug use - 'Recreational' VARYING RISK	Please be aware of the fact that drugs impair your ability to make judgments. If your judgment is impaired you may do things that you normally wouldn't do - exposing you to risk behaviors you know you shouldn't do - but did under the influence.
Medical Procedures No Risk	Now that donated blood and fluids are strenuously screened, and medical professionals are required to use 'Universal Precautions' it is nearly impossible to contract HIV from any Professional medical procedure.
Sex "Toys" No Risk - Low Risk	Use of sexual tools (such as dildos) for personal pleasure is a NO RISK activity. EXCEPTION- Sharing them with someone else holds a potential for transmission. Safer Suggestion - Clean each tool before sharing with a partner or friend. Use a water based lubricant so clean up is easier. Oil based lubricants can leave a film which should be cleaned off completely before sharing with another partner. Do not share a tool with a partner in the same sex act. This would be the same as unprotected sex (only now it is an implement that is moving the fluids from one partner to the next).
I can't think of anything else that doesn't fall under sex (physical contact) or needles. If you have a question about a behavior or activity that may put you at risk - Please contact me. misfit@misfitslife.com

If you would like to contribute your thoughts - please send them to misfit@misfitslife.com

The Safer Sex Page	The STD Homepage	Here's list of communicable Diseases and information on them
Collation for Positive Sexuality - Aimed at teens but very understandable for everyone	Pepsi's Contraception and safe sex Homepage - I think it could be organized better but the information is there.	About Health - Media works homepage dedicated to different views on sex, prevention, and self esteem.
Find your own answers	Yahoo! Health search	AEGIS search the AIDS/HIV Library

What is a Am I at Can I prevent		Risk?
Guidelines for HIV transmission	Guidelines and Risk factors Physical contact - SEX	Guidelines and Risk factors for NEEDLES	Guidelines and Risk factors OTHER