Book 6 April 25 1985 to June 29 1986
| 8506.25 | 8506.29 | 8506.29s | 8506.3Ø | 8506.3Øs |
| 850 |
850 |
850 |
850 |
850 |
| 850 |
850 |
850 |
850 |
850 |
| Back |
No, not in Paris yet. Something Marc said to me yesterday in the fag
argument keeps coming back to me.
"Aw, you can't mean to tell me that you think fags are born that
way!"
"Yes, I do." I replied thinking I remembered
him saying once he agreed with Mr. Calaway when he said most homosexuals can't help it.
"I think its the product of a truely twisted mind." he said.
"Look, I think the majority of homsexuals are so by nature. Very
few, and I admit they exist, actually sit down and make a dissision on there sexual
perferance."
"I can't believe that." he said and of course I'm laughing
inside, sort of. The quote he once said about he agreeing with the bible that 'fags' are
lower then pig slop kept comeing to mind also. If he were a computer he'd short circut if
he found out because of contrary data.
Next time the subject comes up I'm going to try and remember to tell him the animal statistics on homsexuality. There are
homosexuals in all branches and the percentage fluxuates from species to species. Whoes to
say humans don't just have a higher percentage. Oh, Fuck it. *By the
way, Humans have a lower percentage from the other animals which average 25% of
animals showing homosexual to bisexual tendencies. Humans touting only 10%*
I bought some magizens today. Boy, I hit the smut jackpot. Only 1 bad
one out of four. Talking assholes, insertion, cum ...
Hello darkness my old friend. On my way to Paris in a boeing stretch
747. Up here is where you
realize that Kansas is flat. We just past through a layer of clouds and now it seems we
are in a separte world. Flying in a commercial plane is a bit of a let down. Its nearly
the same as the planes I've been in with dad. * This was my first
time in a plane bigger then a Sesna - that wasn't flown by my Father. This would also be
the first time I've traveled out of the four state area. *
"Your not excited Bret!"
"I' am to."
"You hide it well."
First the glove crumbled and provided very little gaurd. Then I bought
new gloves. The same as before only reinforced so as not to crumble again. Then I forget
to bring them with me and my hand is left naked.
The clouds I once thought looked like the ribs of giants sleeping in
the sky now look like mountains or gaint floating scabs. I like to watch there shadows on
the ground.
I was suposed to sit in 12-C, an isle seat. But I switched around a few
times and now sit in 11-F, a window seat, with Mary Noll next to me and Jason in the isle.
I worked yesterday at Vista. Shawn O'Brien seems to be hot on the trail
of the gloves I forgot.
All I seem to remember of Topeka and the
ride to KC and the Airport there, is all the good looking men
. I saw. I've been forced to draw back into my mind and block things out.
No gloves, no feeling alowed, no wonder I don't seem enthusiastic.
I am excited. I know where I am. "Toto, I don't think we're in
Kansas anymore." I seem to miss people already. I'd like to be talking to Shawn or
Dave, or Marc.
In my mind I ride on a motor-cycle with Brice in controll or I fight
with Marc in pitched battle because he found some 'Nasty young Punks'
My ears won't stop popping and hear funny things. Where am I. The sun
is out and the windows are scratched. I either feel heavy or wieghtless. Are we landing so
soon? No, I think not.
Look at the clouds pass us like tretcherous rocks with the winding
fingers of the lakes and the land waiting for us.
The engine got quite, are we gliding comfortabley now? I'm really
having fun up here. I wish a Brice where here.
We're landing now. This flight was short. More to do, more to see.
goodbye until then.
8506.29 supplimental
After a 15 to 2Ø minute flight we landed in St. Luis. We were told
that we would have about an hour and a half lay over. Instead its nearly three hours. I
hear we'll land in Paris about 2 o'clock.
I sketched a few faces nothing really good. Hope I do better later.
Lots of good looking men here. It seems they're either
gorgoues or ugly. Old men or young travellers. I read a couple of comics. Byrn is up to
something wierd in the FF. *John Byrn, writer / artist for the
Fantastic Four, and several other titles for Marvel at the time*
I wonder were Jason and his friends disappeared to. They've been gone
awhile. I almost wish I were more brazen. God, how can people get so tan and beautiful!
Somebody just dropped something, the perfect note to start people are
people in my head. I think I'll kill Jason if he ever gets back. Maybe
good night from here. I am tired, but who knows.
I'm finishing the flight to Paris. This is a long flight. Nice
plane. I'm in the isle and I have a nice view. I finally saw Beverly hills Cop, it came on
after a Solger's storys which I slept through.
From what I can see through the windows, we're over land. Again I keep
thinking that self centered theroy of reality. I am the only
true . person and some outside force sets a
stage around me constantly. The land is alot like Kansas. Did we really go over an ocean?
I'm eager to get off the plane.
I keep wondering two things.
1) What are my friends doing now?
2) How many people have I passed, looked at or talked to been Brice?
What a fucking long day.
Goodnight.
8507.01 important
day
It seems we are always unaviodiblely detained.
Philip was a dream. I hope his pictures turn out. H dressed well, had a
good body and knew what he was tlking about. As a tour guide he is par exellance.
John clevenger is a nice guy with a large body and a small dick. Almost
my type.
the good looking people were out today with the sun. Many were oh, so
scrumsious and one was even gay. Liz falls in and out of lust instantly only one at a time
thought. One of her lusts broke her hart, for as she was sooning I pointed out his earing
was in the right ear not the left. 'Uhg!' she declared 'he's a devant.' * At the time, male earrings where few. Rule of thumb, left ear -
heterosexual, right ear - homosexual. Mine would have been pierced for a year now, left
ear. Wanted to do the right - blame it on dyslexia - but no one would let me do it. I
think it was for just such pressures that that rule just went right out the door.*
Shopping was a pain. I bought . pens
with naked girls and the drain-away swim suits for Dave, Brian Paxson, Pat, Shawn, and
Danny.
We were late for dinner. Rice, potatoes and Rabbit. It was very good.
Best meal in Paris I've had.
To short a time in the Louvre. But Philip knew what he was talking
about.
Went to the Artist quarter. Jason had tohave a portrait. We've got to
met the bus. No problem he said. Liz, mary and another (Julie) also sat. I stood and
watched, and worried. Jason and other finish and go looking for Mary. They never come
back. Mr. Stull finds me and tells me to hustle Mary and Liz. They finish in time for Mr.
Stull to come back and tell us the bus has left for the Eifel Tower an we take a taxi.
Wait an hour for taxi and lose the year I just gained for which they sang on the bus. *Taxi drivers in France have a well deserved reputations for being very
fast and seemingly reckless* No bus at Eilfel so we take Metro home.
The Metro is a blast. You look out the windowsto the blackness and
flashing lights. Its like terror on a dare, very exillerating.
On the metro a man sat and talked to me, in french. "I don't speak
French." I said. "Dutch, Spanish ... " "English." I said.
"How are you?" "fine. How are you?" the conversation stopped there.
The Eifele Tower is huge. And its real. I was there, I have
pictures, of it and the police man that gave us directions to the Metro. No shots of paris
at night from the top. *We where to late for the last tour. I never
did get to go up in the Eiffel tower*
Paris is so large and so beautiful. The statues and Art just laying
around are grand. What really gest me is the ordinary people. I expected french people,
but there just like everyone else only they speak another langueage.
We went by the Mou Lan Rouge (sp) on the bus. The porno section of town
was great, rawnchy, but great.
Jason and John still are not back. I wonder what they are doing.
Anything else? Oh, beard is coming along nicely. All my post cards are
writen but I have no stamps. I'm diffinately going to beat these home. I think I'm missing
my daily masterbations.
Had a thought on the Metro. Latent phycic talent. Lost in a foriegn
country unalbe to speak the language. Your life is a mess and you feel stress. On the
Metro, metro stops your head gets hit, Fugue sets in only now you can speak the langueage.
Interesting?
Oh, well, good night.
*Perhaps I should also mention - I did not then nor have I ever spoken a word of French. This was a summer trip for my Brother's French class. I felt very out of place not even having the basics of the language like my Brother and his class mates. Mother pulled some strings to get me to go along so I could see the Museums and classic art up close. It was also a Birthday present. Embarrassed about stopping the bus so everyone could sing Happy Birthday - still, I wasn't at home for it.*
This is a great day. We awoke at 7:ØØ ate at
8:ØØ and left at 9:05 (well two out of three isn't bad). We took a long
drive from Paris to Charte. During this time I worked out a story line and a possilble
movie for the "instant french lesson" I discussed
earlier. ( I 'm on the bus still, the road is a
little rough bear with me).
In Charte we looked at the church and did a bit of
shopping (mostly for food for our picnic). Then we took
another long drive to Chambord this huge Château.
But first, In charte while shopping I found a small Gargoyle I'm going to name Isacc
and a life size skull I'm going to call St. Denis (french pronounce) St.
Denis was a cool story I've heard about thee times since I was here.
There is a St. in alot of paintings depicted holding his head. The story goes that there
was a religious rebellion and he was beheaded in this square. He then got
up and took his head and walkd something 7 kilometers to a fountain and
washed his head then died. They built a church on that sight.
So then to the Château. The place was huge! And Beautiful! I grabed a
few floor plans took alot of pictures. It would be great in a Top Secret game or such.
In there gift shop I bought a, oh, . 5"
to 7" switch blade. Boy, she's a beauty.
I bought Marc a cross at Charte' and a small skull in Charte for David.
I only need something for Brian Cowen now. That and Stamps!
I still haven't mailed my post cards. I'll beat these suckers home.
Roland is such an exellent driver. Compared to the
horror stories Jason had of Walter we're lucky. We appauled him in tight spots and trecherous
turns. And God bless him for his cooler of 5F Cokes (every where else they
are at least 8F). *That F
is for Francs, French money* I can't wait to tell Brain Paxon and his crew about
Coke. It's not this new shit, its old, even has a pull top on the can.
I've seen some great looking asses today. Really nice. The girls say
that good looking european males are rare. I disagree. Got to go.
8507.02 again
We're in Blois (Blue-ah) the hotel rooms are small and there is no
privacy. The showers are in front of the windows and the public W.C. also has a window in
it. Very un-modest here. All the rules are different here. The adds have nudes, driving is
trecerous. Midas brakes and Maco must make a fortune. I thought K.C. was a free for all,
well!
We went window shopping. It was great. Its not as big and confusing as . Paris and the people are better looking. Most
of the guys ride motorcycles. ( I love motorcycles, there a turn-on).
I had a little vision that while we were out this gorgeous guy would
come up and in french ask me if I would like to see the town and perhaps stay with him at
his flat. (an obvious come on, that I couldn't understand but Mrs Stull could). Of course
Mrs. Stull would be shocked. I would have her translate so I could understand. Then I
would have her tanslate back "In another world, with other people, I would be glad
but this is niether." Mrs Stull would again be shocked but would translate. Then I
would come here and brood over another lost chance.
Paris is the city of Love. I have a theroy. Here there is the chance
and possiblity even for the ugly people. But it is generally short, a fling, but it breaks
the shell and like the catipillar there is a transformation. The ugly people become
self-confident and cared for and become beautiful.
I saw a man in the streets. Built like a stick, tall and thin but with
a dick you could see. Perhaps an inch in diameter and four to five inches long. He had two
women, how perfectly straight.
Can you tell that the lack of a symbol has cost me my mental disipline. Alot of my
mental restraints are gone. Hell, there are four people in this 7 by 14
foot room (remember there are 3 beds a closet and bathroom in
here). Man even my morals are gone, I'm smuggleing a knife into the states.
I can't believe I'm here watching three women put make-up on by holding
the make-up between there busts. Boobie make-up applications. *Made
popular by the film 'Breakfast Club'.*
8507.04 the fourth of July
Blois is a blast. This, I feel, so far is the best place
in France. The people are kind, the stores are
nice. It's not big and confusing like Paris. Jason and I bought big time here.
We have all our sovieniers, things for us, records and
champiane. All sorts of neat things. One thing I don't like about Blois. The slow
servise changing money.
Neat things happened here. At the ch Home of
Leonardi DaVinci there was a group of seven guys. I thought they were
good looking. Three of them tired to pick-up on Liz, Mary,
and Julie. They spoke no english, the french the girls knew didn't help. Sue
Beth finally translated for them and ended up arranging a date for the english
sound and light. All the girls were nervous as hell. They can't speak french
. and these french artist only got an 11 in
english a year ago. Needless to say the girls didn't want a one night stand.
Julie even carried sizzors incase they would try anything. We had a plan. If it
got to the point were
the girls couldn't handle the guys they'd give me a signal,
then I would pat them on the ass and wink when they looked.
It was a good plan. It would switch the center of attention
and disturb the 'sex' feelings in the air. And give me a chance to feel some
cute europen ass. Anyway, they didn't show up. I guess they finally decided that
sitting through something they couldn't understand with someone you couldn't
talk to wouldn't be much fun.
The Sound and Light show was good. Julie and I agreed that
though it was good, it
could have been better. Actors, more colors of lights and some better light
possitions would be infinately better.
One of the records we bought has the lyrics printed. What we
have translated is pretty bizzare. I'll see if I can't write down the
translation. 4 records. One by Depoche Mode I've never heard. Shake the Desiese
from .. .. .. I can't remember
the name of the album.
Traffic around here is wild. There are nearly no lanes, where
your . vehecile
fits is a lane. The law is something like, anything that doesn't cause an
accident is okay. The speepd
limit I heard was like 4Ømph residential 55mph on streets and 9Ømph on
anything else. I'm wondering though if maybe its kilometers ph and not miles?
Want to hear a funny.?
Bus B is being held back by 2 nuns. hold on.
Record verdict is back.
She's got revolver eyes & I want
to make peace with you by Marc Lavoine. 'She kills me with her stare'
Axel Bauer's Phantasmes is the one we want translated. She
said we could do it with a dictionary and it would be better because of its
multiple layers of meaning.
Sardou was all over and seems to have had a long carreer. We
got Io Demenico - La Dêbandade.
Then theres Shake the Disease from the
Flexible album of Depeche Mode.
Well, back to the nuns. Any way one is very old, at least 6Ø
probly about 85. She has been with God a great deal of time and is obviously
faithful. With all of this you think she'd have very few worries and be of sound
mind, but no, she has a facial tic. Her eye and mouth twitch at the same time
when faced by any stress. It's
sad.
I loved Paulines reaction to them at the Châteua. See
they've been holding back the other bus. They are there with . students from
there all girl school. you must have a bus of 3Ø people to do anything. The nuns
are here for history and landmarks, that's it! So the rest of the tour bus ca't
have "fun" either. So, there's the situation.
pauline and I and Jason, Liz and mary are walking around. We
turn a corner and Pauline gasps "Oh, God, the Nuns!" we all laugh and
make jokes about killer nums and start running in other directions and such,
Great fun. I can see how Pauline can be a successful Clown at Pompideau and
such.
Thought of another great power thing. Imagine having a sword
made of a speacial material to withstand the strain. Then to be strong and swift
enought to swing a sword from full up to full down so quick as to break the
sound barrier causing a sonic boon and making the sword red hot from friction.
Massive damage.
8507.04 again
We just picniced in Maynnie on the river Maynnie. Took
some pictures of the river, the 'castel' and the neat wall around it. Then I
went looking around. Found a book store and looked at Some magizens. (hold on)
The porno is petty soft but then again they have nudes in all magizens. Found
one with a picture of Rick . Donovan, Showed
his dick pretty well.
I stopped a minute because Julie bought a magizen with music
reviews on Axel Bauer, Marc (Lovioun)sp. Sardou and paul Young Dead or Alive and
a few other fmilars. Looks like we did really good for blind music buying. Geez,
Just saw alot of Axel Bauer from the magizen (I may be in Lust).
Nice little town. Liz gave every one a scare by losing her
passport until I found it on the bus.
Really just wanted to tell about the magizens (found the
french equivilant of inches, thats where I found Rick).
So many motorcycles, I love it. For traffic out here
motorcycles are great. Enduro's I've seen alot of. Perfect. Ta.
We took a walk on the sea shore this evening. It was
beautiful. The air was clean the water was cold the sand was hard and fine. the
tide was comeing in and I let it wash over my feet.
For the fourth of July alot of
the group went to a "Disco-tech" for dancing and some drinks. Our
fourth consisted of the walk and being greeted with a "Happy fourth of
July" fom some other Americans singing Beetles songs on the beach.
We went to St. Malo today. The place is huge! So beautiful. Its
an island half the time and I never even saw water around the place. The tide
must come in from a long way off. They say it comes in so quickly people have
often drown when left out in the sand banks. Not only that but the pilgrams and
tourist have also vanished in the quicksand bogs around low tide. St. Malo.
"Can't tell your in it until you've stepped in it. Then its to late."
Lots of pictures, a nose bleed, another gargoly (gargoyle),
a sword, a necklace and a bracelet all for me. Yes I chained my right hand,
watch out.
I need to get rid of about 76F worth of change! Anyway, Jason
isn't feeling real well and I have a headache so I'm going to bed. Tomorrow we
hit the beach again then go to Ohmaha and Normandy.
Ta!
Wrote my initials on the beach sands. Probibly gone now.
OVER
********/
>
PHANTASMES
Long Hours
The City SLEEP
IN the cave, the EXECUTIONER sleeps
BADLY
BURNING DESiRES
YOU HOLD ME SO TIGHTLY
DON'T FEAR THE FLOWERS OF THE BAD
BUT IF YOU SHOUT!
WHAT TO DO?
I PRAY TO YOU TO KEEP SiLENT
LEAVE ME TO GAG, TO BLOW YOU
TO SHUT MY MOUTH
FROM HOURS DURING
BURNING DESiRES
AND i TiE YOU UP! LOOSE!
TO THE TORTURES OF DESIRE
AND i TiE YOU UP! LOOSE!
FROM THE POISON OF BOREDOM
FROM HOURS DURING
I HAVE HEATED YOUR BODY
WITH MY FLAME, I HAVE BURNED YOUR
WISE BODY
BURNING DESiRES
AND YOU STILL TREMBLE
NOW YOU'RE NO LONGER SO WISE
AND YOU FOLLOW ME
IN HELL
WHERE YOU LOOK
IN ORDER TO PLEASE ME
TO BETER SAVOUR THE SOURCE
HE WHO PANiCS SPLASHES YOU
FROM HOURS DURING
BURNiNG DESiRES
AND i TiE YOU UP! LOOSE!
TO THE TORTURES OF DESiRE
AND i TiE YOU UP! LOOSE!
FROM THE POISON
OF BOREDOM
IF YOU MAKE ME WILD
UNDERSTAND MY EVIL
CURSE! CURSE ME
WiTHOUT TEARS
MY HANDS HELD TiGHT ON
YOUR NECK
MY HANDS HELD TiGHT ON
HELP YOUR NECK
STOP EVERYTHING!
-AXEL BAUER -
That's the english translation to
his song. We still haven't heard it! Just one word isn't translated yet. I'll
fix it in awhile. CUIS?
Two things I forgot to tell last night.
One; Jason and Liz got a tad tipsy. They pointed to the menu
and didn't know what they got. They wanted a half bottle of white wine. They
got a bottle of Red. They didn't like the taste so they chugged it to get rid of
it. (Bad move). I made them eat some bread, it helped a little.
Two; I forgot. If I remember
I'll write it.
Neat song, eh?
PAULINE *LAST NAME*
*ADDRESS*
ENGLAND
ROLAND *LAST NAME*
*ADDRESS*
FRANCE
I'll just date it every time I write. I've been writing
when I have the time. We're getting ready to leave Normandy.
We ate lunch on a river again. I don't know where and for
some reason I don't care. I made a chocolate sandwitch with coke and somethings
like starbursts.
I fixed the word that was missing, I asked Pauline, Cuis is
Cook and in context its passionate "cooking".
Normandy cemetary is emence. It's really sad. What's worse is
that my mind is not on the 9,386 dead. I kept thinking that if anyone wanted a
large army of zombies that were trained soldgers, this would be the place to
start. But I also think that the large metal statue in front would animate and
return the dead to there rest and kill the villian.
Mom tells me Grandpa fought on Normandy and that he lost
many of his freinds there. It was so peaceful there, I wonder if Grandpa visits.
I still think of him alot.
I wonder how Doc is?
Got to give Jason a back massage.
Roland is such a blast. He's funny. Pat (one of the counselors)
asked him to say 'Does you dog bite' to see if his
accent matches Peter Cellars in the Pink Panther. It wasn't as bad. Then we
asked him to imatate an American speaking French. He said he couldn't do it
without something in his mouth. We made a few more jokes about the French and
then Roland opened the door of the moving bus and made a joke of Americans.
Remind me to tell about Julie and Roland at lunch.
© 2001 June (Date implied by entry date, Date of copyright covers web publication)
| Back |