Book 4 July 7 1984 to November 8 1984

8408.05

    "Thank you Jester, I'll speak for myself now that I am Well."
    Chester bowed graciously and gave me back the pen. I took the pen and shook his firm hand.
    "Sire," said he, "let me entertain you before I go." and he pulled out his trunk of Man-puppets, or Muppets.
    "I wouldn't miss it!" I said with a large smile, and leaned back into my Throne.
    These "muppets" flew about in the air and took on a life of there own. These pieces of cloth and foam were more human than the members of my court. They had person, and structure. They had emotions, feelings, needs and wants. They were real. You couldn't talk about them as things, they had to be peopel!
    I saw one puppet lieing on the floor, strings showing, hand hole open, dead and lifeless. Only a puppet on the floor.
    These real peopel danced and sang about. They were happy, sad, tragic, comedic, jealous, lonely, dispondent, jubelent, ... you name it, they felt it.
    My Jesters artful hand and imagination wove a story of extremes from behind the scenes. He had, or rather they had, my heart bound with a string.

I laughed, I understood, I hoped, I worried, and I was so happy that even this King nearly cried. So happy that the wedding of two most loveable people in the most love, occured. Even through all strife and obsticel.
    My Jester took a bow and put the people away  before I saw them die. I aplauded. I stood and cheered.
    "Thank you." said Chester.
    "No, Thank you, Chester. Thank you for makeing your King well. For makeing him feel good inside."

    The court is empty and I sit thinking back. I feel so good inside. That little "almost cry" of happiness is the best I've ever felt.
    Hhmmmm. Chester is so intelligent. Wonder why he's a Jester?

8408.06

    "Down to bussiness, Page!"
    "Sire, he never returned from delevering messages. We believe the barberians killed him."
    "Damn! What is it with me and pages?! Okay, you," I said pointing to the man who spoke. "You fetch my priest and di the lights in here. The rest of you, out!"

The lights dimmed and everyone left. The room became very silent. And I sat, waiting.
    A man in robes entered my chamber with light behind him. But a breeze slamed the door shut and threw us both back in the dark.
    "Yes my King? You called for Judas, your humble priest? What have you need?"
    "Dreams, Judas."
    "Dreams?"
    "Are they not the words of God sent to man?"
    "Sometimes they are, Sire."
    "I have a dream to tell you. I want you tell me what it means. Understood."
    "Yes, Sire." said and nodded the hooded figure.
    "My castel is Dark and I roam about confined. I feel ill and I don't want to walk but someone behind me keeps pushing forward. I - I can't see who it is, but it must be a man, he's very powrful.
    I turn a corner after corner until I'm lost in my own castel. Everything is familar but out of place. Suddenly there is a child infront of me, he sees me, laughs, and runs away down the hall saying 'come see, come see!' I follow the child, thinking he . wants to show me some new game.
    I turn the corner and there is the child ... masterbating ....."
    My preist looked up suddenly.
    "Yes ... masterbating at the feet of an Emperior. The Emperior looked at me and smiled. I knew that emperior. His damn golden crown, and that cursed septer.
    I never new his name or his land and I only saw him once, heard him three times. But I recognize him and damn him.
    He stands and kicks the masterbateing child and turns to me ... 'You kneel before me' he says to me and laughs, mockingly 'Kneel' he says, 'Kneel and masterbate before your King!' ... 'No', I yell, and I yell it loud. But that strong man behind me pushes me down, and I kiss the Emperior's damn staff. It was like the bitter taste of new apples.-"
    "Why you Sacroligious Son of a -"
    "Let me finish, Charleton!" I yell and leap forward kicking the priest with my black boot. He falls back, some of the robes falling away revealing him. He quickly tried to cover this sudden exposure.
    "Please," I say, "Don't bother. I knew you weren't my preist . when you walked in."
    "Impossible!"
    "But true! Your robes were to secretive and purse not heavy enough. Judas always brings chains for me. Tell me though, what do you think of the dream thus far? What does it mean?"
    "It mean's you'll go to Hell!!"
    "Hell? Hell! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!
Hell! Hell is for Hell
Hell is for Hell
Hell is for Children!
They cry in the dark
    so you can't see the tears,
They hide in the Light
    so you can't see the fear
Forgive and Forget, for the while
Love and hate is one and the same,
   In the eyes of a wounded child.
Because Hell, Hell is for Children
and you know that there little lies
   are tossed up at your face
Hell, Hell is for Children
and be sure not to baby along
   any more than yourself!
It's all you can do from this brutall
   abuseing
They blacken your eyes
Then 'plogize
Be a good little girl, tell Mommy
   your sick
Your a good little boy
play with your toys
Go tell Grandma you fell off the swing"

    And I kicked the Charleton again.
    "Now!" I said, "Let me finish."
    The Charleton nodded his bloody head, his eyes glaring with hate.
    "Soon as I kissed his staff I was his. Body and Soul. I looked up and said, 'You've broken me cold
    I made the mistake ...
    Why do you hurt me so bad?
    It would help me to know,
    Do I stand in your way
    Or am I the best thing you've had?
    believe me, believe me, I can't tell you why, but I'm trapped by your lust, and chained to your side.'
    He said nothing to me, did nothing to me. He simpely turned and faded away leaveing only the child, masterbating on the floor like a machine.
    I went to the child and siezed his hand and said, Stop, We're loseing controll. and the child looked up to me and said, 'Will you turn me away, or touch me deep inside. And before this gets old, will it still feel the same? God, I said, Is there no way this will die?
    The dream kind of fades there, but do want to know something, its still going on and what's really strange is ..... is ... your that child on the floor!"
    "You, Pig!" he yelled and spit a blood stain to my hand.

"We'll see." I said. "We'll see."

8408.07

    "Chester, he never understood."
    "I'm afraid I don't understand, Sire."
    "Chester, he was so close minded. He simply stood wraped in his priestly chains and alowed my dream Demon to whip him! He couldn't understand that the story was a battle in the confusion of Love. Not only that ... it was a confession .... . .  .   long over do." *I think the pun was intentional*
    "Sire?"
    "Look, Chester. The blood from his face is still here on my hand."
    "Sire, it's almost time."
    "Everything is almost time. Because we don't know what time is. I can tell you what it is ... It's a Thief, a Liar, and a Bragard!"
    "Sire, time to go."
    "Yes, of course. Hand me my gloves."
    "Once there was a very strange Land. Anything could happen there, anything. A boy with a problem plunged himself into this world and thought perhaps here, he would have a chance to overcome those problems. He was right, for only here in this land could he battle his problems, for this is were they originate. But like I said anything can happen here.
    The boy wandered out of the .      DNAL    FO    DETSIWT     SGNOS    for all things start with a provoking thought. After coming out of the void he crossed a barren dessert metting only the warriors three for the shortest and most superfical of time. Only the footsteps of the Mage guided him in the start. When those were lost he ambeled off course. He had a feeling he was on to something, something big.
    Thats when he came into a small ghost town and met an old prospecter. That prospecter led him into the mines and then showed him his Empire and revealed himself an Emperior, demanding favors. The boy was impressed and wanted to give him everything. The boy gave him everything and only got the bitter taste of apples in return.
    The boy left in anger and even an unexplained disgust. The Emperior called him back three times. First time he turned and looked, then looked away. The second time he hesatated and then walked on. The third time he didn't even hesitate or half his step.
    Suddenly the boy heard a roar, and he looked back and saw a terrible black bear . comeing for him out of the mines. The boy ran, ran hard, and that big black Beast was on his heels.
    He ran out of the dessert and toward an oasis, but it seemed so far off. He'd never make it he thought. Then he suddenly turned around and dove into the Beast.
    He then turned around and walked to the oasis which turned out to be a lush and  veritable Jungel. It looked like Eden and smelled better. Here he met his friend Death Dealer. Death Dealer is unaware to this day of most of what has been stated here. For two years the boy silently fought the Beast he put in himself. He fought it with strenght and power and derterminism but with a defeatism attitude. Sucuming to the Beast became Easy.
    Quite suddenly the boy rose up, tearing down many illusion in a world of illusions. And he dethroned the Beast and made him a short fat ugly man instead of a fiersome bear. He dethroned the Beast and declared himself King. After all anything can happen here."
    Thus went the opening monolog to my trial. My trail of impeachment, started by a damn Charleton.

8408.07

    "He's unfitt to rule! He has sacroligious and perverted dreams!" Yelled the Charleton preist whom I now recognised. It's the hate in his eyes that tiped me off. It's the page I ruined twice. I turned him into a man and then caused a shock to his priest. I supposed this was irony to him.
    "Dreams don't make the man." said the deffense attorney.
    "Don't they?" I siad. My deffense attorney looked at me in disgust.
    "Look, Listen to the story. Take pity on this man."
    "Your fired." I said.
    "What!" said the attorney.
    "Your fired. I don't want pity. Listen to the story indeed, but don't take pity, take pride. I crawled out of void, treked through a dessert, and after great battle made myself King. Take pride!"
    "Take pride in a pervert!" squeeked the former page(s).
    "Pride - for I made myself what I am. And I used Dreams to do it."
    "But your dreams are perverse!"
    "Some, yes. And I read into those all the wisedom I can, then use them as insentive to move the other way."
    "You are a traitor."
    "True."
    "You admit it!"
    "I do."

    "Are you trying to give me rope to hang you?"
    "I once told someone that one day my people would hang me, and I'd give them the barb-wire to do it with. I'm giving you rope, see if my people will hang with it."
    "I will."    bang said the gavell.
    "Ahumphf," said the judge to the priest.
"It is common knowledge that our King is a traitor. In this way he can more effictively deal with the traitors previously placed in the court such as his advisor."
    "Ah, the "Advisor"!" said the priest.
    "What about my advisor." I said contemptuously clenching my left fist.
    "I have knowledge that says you kept him on the court staff only as a weapon ... against your ... Father!"
    "Lie!!!" I stand enraged. "Lie. I heard that is why the Beast was sent. But I tore down that illusion when I claimed myself King."
    "You seem upset. Perhaps you didn't destroy that illusion as well as you thought?"
    "It's Destroyed!"
    "After all you still hate your Father."
    "I hated him before."
    "Going to drop that bomb on him someday?"

    "Never!!!"
    "Why not, you hate him enough don't you?"
    "If it was a weapon don't you think I'd have used it by now?!"
    "Make him wonder about ..."
    "Judge, this is not relavant. Please make the Charleton stop!"
    "The Court will deem what is relavent, Sire. Sir, we would wish you to explain the relavence of this."
    "To please the Court, I'm trying to show all the reasons this King is unfitt to rule."
    "A King is fit when he carries weapons," I said, "It shows he's out to protect the Kingdom."
    "Against his Father?" asked the priest.
    "Maybe you don't realize who my father is. Aren't you familar with The Dominator!"
    "No."
    "Well, let me tell you about him. He is covered in Armour and he has Iron gauntlets. The back of his Armour is impregnable and you can't see his face! His shadow is imense and kills all vegatation in its wake. He has no mercy, no guilt and his mind is so narrow the ideas come out folded. He askes nothing, he tells it all and he answers to the same God . you do! The one that doesn't tell you what to do, doesn't tell you what not to do, and doesn't reprimand you either way you go because you never hear him!!"
    "I hear my God!!"
    "When, in your dreams.?"
    "I hear him when I want."
    "Which is why I don't like you, and I do like Death Dealer, and Theseus. You grabed hold of the wrong light when I told you about the Harlot and the Blind man." Bang, said the gavel.
    "I think this has gotten out of hand." said th Judge. "We will take a recess." bang, said the gavel.
    I rest wearily in a back room. Chester walked in.
    "Funny." I said.
    "Sire, I haven't done anything."
    "No. I meant funny, I expected my Joker to walk in."
    "Sire he's dead."
    "Jokes never die, Chester."
    "Are you okay, Sire?"
    "No, Chester. No, I'm not. I feel sorry for that young boy. He stands there like a Priest but he's bound in chains. He's whipped by a Demon but he won't give in, yet he already has. He's like I was only differnt. He figures by destroying me he can kill his Beast. Instead he'll only . have given in to it."
    "Then stop him, Sire."
    "I can't. It's his fight. I can't tell him his battle plan is wrong. He must figure it out.
    "Chester! I must have this role, I must be in Controll
     I must overcome the left hand by proper rule of this land. Damn, where are the Harlots when you need them? Where are your friends?"
    "You have me, Sire."
    "Surely you Jest. You are from my Court. I can't have a friend in my Court, its full of twisted plots and the traitors pulling the strings. Like you do for the puppets, godling."
    Chester remained silent. I opened the curtain and looked out to the sky. Clouds were comeing from the West and spaned over 3/4 ^TH   of the heavens. Thunder and lighting roared about. Rain poured down. Yet in the East you could see the Sun riseing and its radiance flowed over the land and the storm wasn't dark but it was very fierce.
    "I only wanted the truth, looking into No more feelings of doubt
Someone showed me the root of all evil
When all the lights were out
Shallow sleep, just leaning

Am I leaving the game?"
    there was pleading in my voice, but Chester stood silently. I turned to the window and watched the storm close in on the rising sun.
"I must be dreaming lots of undercover
Derams are always the same
When the nights close in
When the nights close ..."
    "Sire, time to go."
"Well its another night I waste at the opera
With a permanent friend
I should have taken direction much sooner
Another night in the air
If the lights come on
If the lights came on
I'd switch myself, with someone else
Then I'd shake myself
Things start to happen when I ...
Things start to happen when ...
Things start."
    I turn to Chester, and begin to walk and he guides me.
"Oh, I can see myself running
But I'm standing still
And I can hear myself screaming
But theres no sound
When I wake up crying life brings me down
But its not worth losing untill its found.
Oh, I can see my way home, home,
I close my eyes and I'm back by the ocean
My hair feels wet
I'm on the brink of a life long ambition
Whatever dream comes next
I'm in the seat of a hearse and guess who's driving?

I'm with you all the way
I hear the step of a fool, who's comeing?
All night, never day
Then the lights come on
Then the lights came on
I switch myself
With someone else
Then I shake myself
Things start to happen when I ...
Things start to happen ...
Things start ...
I can see myself running
But I'm standing still
I can hear myself screaming
But there's no sound
When I wake up crying life brings me down
No, It's not worth losing, until its found
Oh, I can see my way home
I'm at a house, all the windows are broken
It's were I once used to live
I must be losing all my undercover
Dreaming always the same."
    Bang, said the gavel.
    "Decisions have been reached." said the Judge. The Preist hanging on every word.
    "What desicion, Your Honor?"
    "The King is fit and will continue in his duties."
    " your honor?"
    I stand up and leave. That was the trial of a King who was shakey in rule, yet determind to continue. And one confused child Priest in a man's body.

8408.08

    I started my day laughing, and singing. I was in controll of my land.
    "I hear the step of a fool, who's comeing." and I laughed.
    "Chester!" and I snickered as I rang the court bell and yelled for Chester.
    "Sire, Sire! Please not so loud! you'll wake the whole Kingdom!"
    "Young lady, where is Chester?"
    "He left late yesterday after the trial, Sire."
    "Left?!" I cried.
    "Yes - Sire. Said it was time to move on and make new friends."
    "New friends! New ... friends ... ... Oh, God."
    "Sire, is something wrong. It sounds like something just broke."
    "Something just did ... my heart."
    "Sire?"
    "Leave me now."
    That's right, I started the day happy. I felt like crying. I felt like dieing for being such a clod.
    I rose and dressed myself, the somber King once more. I put the wreath on tighter than usuall, it sting me harder and helped none at all. It was empty pain compared to what I really felt.
    I thought about trying to find Chester, but it could never be the same. I remembered something Death Dealer wrote to me once. "Never . apoligize after the deed. Always before. This way you guide your life and not repair it."
    I walked down the hall, my heavy boots echoing in the vastness. I could hear myself comeing.
    "Sire."
    "Leave me alone, I don't wish to be disturbed."
    "But, Sire. There is a Priest named Pilate to see you at the gate."
    "Doesn't he know Death Dealer?"
    "Believe he does sir."
    "I'll see him, at the gate."
    I walked out to the courtyard and though the brisk, moist breeze of the coming storm. Pilate stood at the gate.
    "What do you need?"
    "Aid, Sire. I need to Judge this man guilty, yet I find no guilt."
    "I don't find guilt. I'm no Judge. He's yours once again."
    "Sire! You can't do that!"
    "Sure I can. If a man dies in a crowd only the mortision will pick him up. It's called dispersion of responsiblity. It's not my job, its yours."
    "But, Wouldn't a Doctor try to save that man?"
    "Only if he was on duty."
    Thus Pilate turned and spoke into his crowd.
    "He will be hung to morrow."
    "Hold!" I said returning to the . gate "I thought you said you found no guilt."
    "I can't, but he must die."
    "Give me the man."
    Thus a small feeble old man was passed to me in chains. I unlocked the chains and spoke to him.
    "Are you guilty?"
    "No sire."
    "You adress me in lower case. Good. King Pilate is going to hang you wether I find guilt in you or not, correct?"
    "Yes, sire."
    "But, If you never get back to him..." And I turned and faced Pilate as the old man ran deep into my Kingdom.
    "He's escaping!" yelled Pilate.
    "Pity. Pilate, in the future may I suggest that you not carry a singel sheet of paper in the wind. It tears to easy."
    I then turned and left the gate, tripping on the chains. As I passed the maid on my way in I asked her to remove the chains from the premises. At the Door I turned and waved good day to Pilate and then closed myself in.
    I hoped the old man was resourceful. Without wits ^and/or friends he would die out on his own, and I couldn't offer him help now.

8408.09

    "You really loved him didn't you?" asked Logan.
    "What's love got to do with it? What is love but a second hand emotion? Who needs a heart when a heart can be boken!"
    "Who needs a heart, huh? Sounds to me like you really loved him."
    "What is love? Does anybody really love anybody anyway?"
    "You do miss him!"
    "Only when he left. And I'll admit it only when you leave."
    "Lets play a game!" said Logan as he got up and danced about swinging his sword.
    "Logan, ... no."
    "Here!" Chinck! screamed the ground as Logan embeded his sword in the floor. "Pull it out like a King!" he said.
    I rose smuggly from my throne. I strode forward and grabbed the sword with one hand and tugged lightly. It didn't budge and my walk stumbled. I pulled hard, then with two hands my fustration and anger showing.
    Two Ducks walked across the court as I struggled and listened to Logan laugh. Suddenly my sweaty hands slipped off the hilt and I hit myself as I flew backwards. Logan chuckeled and said.
    "Here, its easy." and plucked the . sword from the floor with his small finger tips.
    "Let me guess," I said, "Bagera taught ..."
    "Nope ... Baloo!" and he ran giggling out of the court.
    "Arrgh! That boy gives me Nightmares! Page! Shoot those Ducks."
    "Can't, Sire." was the reply.
    "Why can't you?"
    "Can't see them, Sire."
    "So find them!"
    "Are they lost?"
    "No!"
    "Then they don't need to be found."
    "Arrgh!!!! Damn that Pair of Ducks!"
    I lay there thinking , thinking about crying. I looked about the empty room and screamed.
    "Why isn't there anybody to talk too?!"
    "You call me, Sire?"
    "No, go away."
    Thus I sat, letting it get dark.

© 1999 April (Date implied by entry date, Date of copyright covers web publication)