Book 4 July 7 1984 to November 8 1984

8407.23

I hear the music, the back-tracking and the screech of the singers. I'm in a black void and I float freely bound in the sheets I toss under. Suddenly fear grips my soul and I cring. The images begin, they call them dreams.
** On a dark desert highway
* Cool wind in my hair
Once I believed death, rising up through the air
Up ahead in the distance
I saw a shimmering light
My head grew heavy, my sight grew dim
I had to stop for the night
There she stood in the doorway
I heard the mission bell
And I was thinking to myself
This could be heaven or this could be hell
There were voices down the corridor
I thought I heard them say;
*Welcome to the Hotel California
*Such a lovely place, Such a lovely place

* Such a lovely face
* Renting a Room at the Hotel California
* Anytime of year, any time of year
* You can find it here
My mind is simply twisted
She got the mercadies benz
She got alot of pretty, pretty boys
That she calls friends
How they dance in the courtyard
Sweat Summer Sweat
Some dance to remember, Some dance to forget
So I call every captian
"Please bring me my wine"
They said, "We haven't had that spirit
**here since 1969"
And still those voices are calling from far
**away
Wake you up in the middle of the night
Just to hear them say;
* Welcome to the Hotel California
* Such a lovely place, Such a lovely place
* Such a lovely face
* They livin' it up at the Hotel California
* What a nice surprise, What a nice surprise
* When your alibys
Mirrors on the cieling
And pink champain on ice
And she said, "We are all just prisoners here
Of our own device."
And in the Masters chamber
They gather for the feast
They stab it with there steely knives
But they just can't kill the Beast
Last I remember
I was running for the door

I had to find a passage back
To the place I was before
"Relax" said the Night Man
"We are so glad to recieve
You can check out any time you like
But you can never leave"
** Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah !!!!!!!!!
I awake with a start. Logan at the foot of my throne. He looks at me full of concern. Glove in place the synthisizers strike up loud.
"Tell you 'bout a dream that I have
every night
Tell you 'bout a dream that I have
every night
It ain't chrotochrome and it isn't
black and white
Take you for fool if you feel that's right
Well I'm never on my own and there
ain't nobody in sight
I don't know why I'm scared of the
lightining. Trying to reach me
I can't turn to the left or the right
I'm to scared to run and I'm to weak
to fight
But I don't care its all Psycho-
babble rap to me, Psycho-babble
Tell you 'bout a dream that I have
every night
It's in Dolybe stereo but I never hear
it right
Take me for a fool, well thats all right
Well, I see the way to go but there
isn't any light
I don't know why I'm scared of the
lightining Trying to reach me

Help me to find what I don't want
to know
Takeing me there but I don't want to go
But I don't care its Psycho-babble rap to me
Psycho-babble, all Psycho-babble
Psycho-babble, all Psycho-babble
I don't care It's all Psycho-babble rap to me
Your reading my mind you won't look
in my eyes
You say I do things that I don't realize
Your lieing it seems is fading to black
I threw it away because I don't want
it back
But I don't care its all Psycho-babble rap ----"
* Then there she stood, I sent Logan
away quickly, and rose off my Throne.
* "I saw you there, Just standing there
And I thought I was only dreaming you
I heat up, I can't cool down
Got me spinning round and round
Round and round, round it goes
Where it stops nobody knows
Everytime you call my name
I heat up like a burning flame
Burning flame, full of desire ...."
"Babe if you will a picture
Of you and I engaged in a Kiss
The sweat of your body covers me
Can my Darling, can you picture this"
"Please don't bring your love on me
Take away my name
Please don't breath your love on me
I'll never be the same
You make me hot, you make me sigh
You make me laugh, you make me cry

Keep me burning for you love
With the touch of a velvet glove
* She was a the same as a hundred Ladies
* But when my eyes looked at her I learned
* That she was keeping a secrete fire
* And If I got to close I'd burn
* So it looked like I had to move slowly
* Like a Cat at night in the trees
Please don't go, No, Please don't go
Because I don't want to stay here on my own
Babe, if we stand in a courtyard
Oceans and violets in bloom
Animals strike curious poses
They feel the heat, the heat between me and you
Kiss me baby let the fire get higher
I kiss you then, then once again
You said you would come and dance with me
Dance with me, across the sea
We can feel the motion of a thousand dreams
Come with me, and make-believe
We can travel to eternity
If at night give such delight
we'll all leave before the morning light
Touch if you will my stomache
Feel how it trembles inside
You've got the butterflys all tide up
I feel the magic in your caress
I feel the magic when I touch your breast
I hear the magic in your sighs
I see the magic in your eyes
Your eye's got me dreamin'
Your eye's got me blind
Your eyes got me hopen'
That I'll be holding you close tonight
Because if I had my way with you baby

I would be changing right this day
I was waiting for her to show me
The way that she like the love to feel
Silk and Satin, Leather and Lace
Black panites with an Angels face
Your eyes got me dreamin'
Ebony eyes, Ebony eyes, Ebony eyes, Ebony eyes
Sometimes I feel I've got to
Runaway, I've got to
Getaway, from the pain you drive into
the heart of me
The love we share
Seems to go no where
And I've lost my life
For I toss and turn
I can't sleep at night
Once I ran to you, I ran
Now I run from you
This tainted love you've given
I give you all a boy could give you
Take my tears and thats not really
Oh, Tainted love.
How can you just leave me standing
Knowing the worlds so cold
Maybe I'm just to demanding
Maybe I'm just like my Father, two-fold
Maybe you're just like my mother
She's never satisfied
Why do we scream at eachother
Just when I think I'm gonna getaway
I hear the words you always say --"
=Boy you can't run
Don't you know I'm haven' fun?
Your a real good actor
And you live a mascarde

Better keep that candel burning
It's the only light you have
And you know --
*There are Demons in the Dark
They screech, they howl, they bark
You're scared of the night
Because you know you can't fight
The Demons in the Dark =
"Now I know I've got to
Runaway, I've got to
Getaway, you don't really want any
more from me"
>You can't run, You can't hide
your grasp is firm but you slide!=
"Don't touch me please!
I cannot stand the way you tease
And you think love is to prey
But I'm sorry I don't pray that way!
To make things right
You need someone to hold you tight
Once I ran to you
Now I run from you
This Painted love you've given
I give you all a boy could give you
Take my tears and thats not really
Oh, Painted love
Painted love
I love you though you hurt me so
Now I'm gonna pack my things and go!"
>But the Darkness you must fight
It tempts you, taunts you, guides you,
You slip, you side, you fall
Into the grasp of ... =
"I was born to run, I was born to dream
The craziest boy you've ever seen

I got to do it my way, or no way at all
And I was here to please, I'm even on my knees
Maken' love to whoever I please
I got to do it my way or no way at all
Then you came around, tried to tie me down
I'm such a clown
You had to have it your way, or no way at all
I've had all I can take, I can't take it no more
I'm going to pack my bags and fly, my way
Or no way at all
*Why don't you turn me lose, turn me lose
turn me lose, I got to do it my way or
no way at all!
*Why don't you turn me lose, turn me lose,
turn me lose, I got to do it may way, I
want to fly!
I was here to please, I was even on my knees
Maken' love to whoever I please
I got to do it my way, I got to do it my way
And When you came around, tired to tie me down
I was such a clown
You had to have it your way,
Well, I'm sayn' no way! * "
=Buddy your a boy, make a big noise
Playin' in the street gonna be a big man someday
You got mud on yo' face
You big disgrace
Kickin' your can all over the place
Singin'
** We will we will Rock you
** We will, we will Rock you
Buddy you're a young man, hard man
Shoutin' in the street gonna take on the world
****Someday
You got blood on yo' face
You big disgrace

Waven' your banner all over the place
Singin'
* We will, We will Rock you
* We will, We will Rock you
Buddy your an Old man, Poor man
Pleaden with your eyes ganna make you
some peace * Someday
You got mud on yo' face
You big disgrace
Somebody gonna put you back in your
Place, Singin'
* We will, We will Rock you =
Suddenly there were noises in the courtyard and I fell against the dirty old window. I was tired yet I had to see what the commotion was about. The Squire rang his bell and town gathered around.
The Squire looked up to me at the window, and the town knew his message and joined in.
"You see him comein' up here every night
Your suspisions are from you at first sight
You know your bussiness, you think its a bore
It makes you resstelss, its nothing you haven't
** done before
Headin' down town so you come on the one
You never come down when you do it for fun
You never miss a plan though you make
* one or two
You give it all away ...
Everybody wants you
You pay attention though you never say No
Throw your affections, anyway the wind blows
You always think your on top of the scene

You sell a copy like the cover of a magizene
Hurtin' round the eyes your like nobody else
You never realize what you do to yourself
But things of a bad scene make a fatal resume
*You never get to riegn ... .
*Everybody wants you
*Everybody wants you
*Everybody wants you
*Everybody wants you
*Needs you
*Needs you!
You make a desision, and impossible
** Dream
Better get the mirror, patch it up round the
** Seams
You got your daughter you pay for it all
You vent your tension in lonelyness and
** Alcohol
Take time you mention the wife
You can't escape the odds the certian strife
The more you understand the more I could do
You'll never get away ...
Everybody wants you
Everybody wants you - "
I throw a rock into the crowd and they scatter. I turn to the Beast and look him straight in the eye. Synthisizers drum up again.
"You got me running goin' out a my mind
You got me thinking I'm wasten' my time
Don't bring me Down
No, No, No, No, No
I'll tell you once more
before I get up and go
Don't bring me down

Your lookin' good, just like a snake in
the grass
One of these days your gonna break
Your glass
You got me shakin', got me runnin' away
You got me crawlin' up to you every day
No-no, No-no, No-no, No-no, No-no
I'll tell you once more before I get up and go
Don't bring me Down, Down, down,
down, down, down **"
I storm out the castel gate and begin my walk to the DNAL FO DETSIWT SGNOS. Night falls qickly and the moon shines down into the darkness.
"Midnight, not a sound from the pavement
Has the moon lost her memory
She's smileing alone
In the lamplight the withered leaves
** collect at my feet
And the wind begins to blow
Memory all alone in the moonlight
I can smile at the old days
It was beautiful then
I remember the time I knew what happiness was
Let the memory live again!
Daylight, I must wait for the sunrise
I must think of a new life
And I musn't give in
When the dawn comes tonight will be a
** memeory too
And the new day will begin
Burnt out ends of smoky days
The stale cold smell of morning
The streetlamp dies, another night is over

Another day is dawning
Touch me? Its so easy to leave me
All alone with the memory
Of my day in the sun.
Look. A new day has begun."
* I reach the entrance of the void called the DNAL FO DETSIWT SGNOS. I walk headlong into the abyss and I stop at the Core. Here in this sea of voices raging in the storm of the artist mind people float or sink. If they float its usally only for a moment. The guitars played heavy and low and I sat down and listened.
~ With a purposefull grimace and a
**** terribel sound
He pulls the spining high towers
**** down
Helpless people on a subway train
**** scream My God as he looks down
**** on them
He picks up a bus and throws it back
**** down
As he wades threw the place to the
**** center of town
Oh No, they say he's got to go
Go, Go, Godzilla
Oh No, there goes Tokyo
Go, Go, Godzilla
Godzilla, GODZILLA, ^godzilla zilla-zilla, ^God zilla
GODzilla, godZILLA Godzilla ------------- ~
"Halt! You always play random wisdoms. Play a song for me, counsel me in the subject of War."
There was back tacking, odd moans, then a large Boom.

~Somewhere
At one another
short of breath
Walking proudly in our winter coats
Weraring smells from labratorys
Facing a dieing nation
A moveing paper fantasy
Listening for the new told light
With the grim visions of loving you.

Somewhere
Inside * something
There is a rush of
Great men who know
What stand in front of
My lives, my captain, my future
On films in space
Silence tells me secretely
Yah, Everything, everything.

Manchester England, England
Manchester England, England
Across the Atlantic sea
And I'm a genius, Genius
I believe in God
And I believe that God
Believes in Clod
That's me - Thats me - Thats Me
enihsnuS eht tel - enihanuS eht tel *handwriten in cursive backward*
How high was the Red man
I was proud I was Strong
You were the White man
And you stole away my home
Now I am a Wooden Indian
Painted dreams inside my head
Time away you bring me down

And make me wish that I was dead

How high was the Red Man
My passing made no sound
You were the White man
And you drove me in the ground
Now I am a Wooden Indian
Standing silent in the rain
Swear by my Grandfathers Father
Were gonna rise again

How high was the Red Man
I was proud I was strong
You were the White Man
And you stole away my home
Now I am a Wooden Indian
Standing silent in the rain
Swear by my Grandfathers father
Were gonna rise again
haN - haN haN - haN haN * haN * haN
Got on a plane at Frisco
Got of at Viet Nam
I walked into a different world
The past forever gone
I could have gone to Canada
Or I could have stayed in School
But I was brought up differently
I couldn't break the rules
13 months and 15 days
The last ones were the worst
One minute I'd knell and pray
The next I'd stand and curse
No place to run to were I did not feel
** that war
When I got home - stayed alone - and
checked behind each door

Cause I'm still in Sigon, Still in Sigon
I am still in Sigon, In my mind.
The ground at home was covered with snow
And I was covered with Sweat
My younger brother calls me a killer
My daddy calls me a Vet
Everybody says I'm someone else
And I'm sick and there's no cure
Damned if I know who I am
There was only one place I was sure
When I was still in Sigon, Still in Sigon
I am still in Sigon, In my mind.
Every sumer when It rains
I smell the jungel. I hear the planes
I can't tell no - one, I feel ashamed
I'm afraid someday I'll go insane
Thats been ten long years ago
And time has gone on by
But now and then I catch myself
I'm searching through the sky
All those times from long ago
will be forever in my head
Mingeled with the wounded cries
And the silence of the dead!
ni llitS m'I, nogiS ni llitS, nogiS ni llitS ~
"You've given me war
But I want more
When I said war I meant conflict,
Those feelings that you can't lift.
I meant not war but Love."
* The abyss laughed at me then continued
~You can't depend on your teacher
You can't depend on your preacher
You can't depend on politicians
You can't depend on supersition

Hey! Love can rock you
Never Stop you
Love is like a Rock
You can't rely on Mother Nature
You can't rely on your pay check
You can't depend on you Doctor
You can't rely on your Lawyer
Hey! Love can Rock you
Never stop you
Love is a like Rock!
* Rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock.
Some say love, it is a river
* that drowns the tender reed,
Some say love, it is a razor
* that leaves your soul to bleed
Some say love, it is a hunger
* an endless acheing need
I say love, it is a flower
* and you its only seed
It's the heart afraid of breaking
That never learns to dance
It's the dream afraid of waking
That never takes the chance
It's the one who won't be taken
Who cannot seem to give
And the soul afaid of dieing
That never learns to live
When the night has been lonely
And the road has been to long
Then you think that love is only
For the Lucky and the Strong
Just remember, in the Winter
Far beneath the bitter snow
Lies the seed, that with the suns love
In the spring, becomes the Rose ~

* The void was at rest and I thought over what I just heard, I stood and walked out of the Bøyg and headed toward my ... home?
"You ask me where to begin
Am I so lost in my sin
You ask me where did I fall
I'll say I can't tell you where
But if my spirit is lost
How will I find what is near
Don't question, I'm not alone
Somehow I'll find my way home
My sun shall rise in the east
So shall my heart be at peace
And if you're asking me when
I'll say it starts at the end
You know your will to be free
Is much with love secretely
And thought will alter your prayer
Somehow you will find you are there
Your friend is cross by your side
And speaks in far ancient tounge
A seasons wish will come true
All seasons begin with you
A world we all come from
The world we melt into one
Just hold my hand and were there
Somehow, I'm goning somewhere
Somehow, I'm going somewhere

You ask me where to begin
Am I so lost in my sin
You ask me where did I fall
I'll say I can't tell you when
But if my spirit is strong
I know it can't be long

No questions, I'm not alone
Somehow, I'll find my way home."
* I stride back in the palace courtyard.
Buzzing crown, Scarlet cloak and one black glove.
* There is a crowd present. A Curib flew with the Eagels over the Queen and her Princes. The two princes were Gemini, one carrying an Iris the other a Rose. I past a Band of Millers then the Cult of the Blue Oyster standing there with there long Hair. I passed Charley's silent Band with Vangelis and St. John of Denver. In the castel I loooked to the beast then to the sword above my Mantelo. No, I thought, this calls for a Soft Sell.
"I've paid my dues -
Time after time -
I've done my sentace
But comitted no crime -
And bad mistakes
I've made a few
I've had my share of sand
Kicked in my face
But I've come through"
* I then turn to the crowd and hail them.
"We are the Champions - my friends
And we'll keep on fighting -
Till the end -
We are the Champions
We are the Champions
No time for losers
'Cause we are the Champions -
Of the World -"

I then turn and retire to my thrown room.
"I've taken my bows
And my curtain calls -
You brought me fame and fortune
And everything that goes with it -
I thank you all
But its been no bed of roses
No pleasure cruise -
I consider it a challenge before
The whole human race -
And I ain't gonna lose!"
The lights go down and every one sleeps, except myself and the Beast. We engage in a game of chess. He wins one, I win one, we stalemate the last.

8407.23 extra late night ------
Loki's home, and I'm happy.

8407.24

I stood, in full cerimonial dress, with my back to the door, the lights out, facing my throne. I heard footsteps and a familar vioce, though I couldn't place it.
I heard the clearing of a throat and the lights came on.
"You have a visitor, Sire." said the deep, familar voice.
"Who are you?" I asked not looking back, but closing my eyes to compensate for the sudden light.
"I am St. John." said another voice.

I turned and opened my eyes.
"Not you." I said. "You." and I pointed to the tall sturdy young man escorting the Saint.
"I, Sire?" said the young man.
"Yes you. Your vioce and visage are familar but I can't place you."
"I'm your page, Sire." Suddenly I saw through the mist and remembered the page boy, no longer a boy.
"You matured .... pity."
I turned and viewed the visiting St. Dressed all in black robes with a red outline. His large silver cross glinted in the strong light. I shielded my eyes, then put on my sunglasses.
"How is Logan?" I asked the page.
"Fine. He's practicing war in the playground."
"Fine. You are dismissed." He left, closeing the heavy chamber doors behind us.
"What brings you to my audience?"
"Oh, not much. I just wished to comment on the beautiful Christian faith which has blosomed so strong in your whole Kingdom. You must be a stong and faithfull King to bring such a true faith into this sorry world." He smiled graciously and clasp his hands over his heart.
"My kingdom of strong Christians, Father?"
"Yes. I'm a missionary and as I passed through this County I was pleased to see such faith."

"Father, We are not a Kingdom of Christains." I sat down in my throne "We are a Kindom of the faithfull though."
"You are not Cristains?" he asked. He eyes showed an almost pain of pity.
"No. We are Jews, Muslims, Hindus, Buddist, Pagens, Athesist, and Scientist." The Saints fisage dropped. It looked as if he night have a heart attack. "Everything you've told me tells me you approached from the West. If this is true, I forbid you to travell futher East, South or North. I wish to avoid the downfall of my kingdom."
"I - I - I don't understand this." Cried the Saint. "How can you have so many religions all felt so strongly?"
"By having different people. Step out of your chains, Father. Everyone needs something different. Even your own church can't decide on one interpretation of a verse!"
"But Pagens, Jews, and - and ..."
"Athesist? or was it Scientist you were after?"
"What do you believe?" asked the Saint, almost desperately.
"I believe in following what your soul believes."
"But thats Christian!"
"No, Father, thats wisdom."
"What is your beliefe of God?!"
"Ever hear of Niechi?"

The Saint collapsed in exasperation.
"Page! Call a Doctor. I believe this man has hurt his pride."
"St. John!" cried the page.
"The Father should be fine once out of our Kingdom."
"He's not a Father," said the page angrily. "He's a Saint!"
"No," I said, "He's just like my Father."
"You Sacraligious Heritic !!!" screamed my page nearly frothing at the mouth.
"SACROLIGIOUS!" I stood and advanced on my page. "Never call me a Heritic! I am a very faithfull man. And If you're such a Damn Crusader put a Chiro on your chest and get out of my Kingdom! And Take that Genosideic maniac with you."
My crown thrumed and stung me harder. The flys sped about my head like hornets.
"I spit upon thee," said the page, Chiro emblazon on his chest." Lord of the Flies!"
"I'd trade my Crown for one of thorns any day." I said as he carried the Saint away.
"Logan."
"Yes, Sire?" responded the boy.
"Make sure they leave through the West."
"Yes, Sire. Logan will do this."
"Thanks ... and Oh, please turn out the lights."

The lights went off. I turn and see Loki silhouetted in the Door.
"Good job, brother." he said.
"Really?" I asked.
"No, but it was a Good show."

8407.25

I was out in the sun, trying to burn and have dark skin. I lay near naked under the battering heat, I sweat heavily.
The sickly odure of my summer sweat attracted my wreath of flys. The swarm buzzed about stinging me all about my body. I couldn't kill any of them. I couldn't get them away from me. I squirmed, I convulsed, it was like a fitt as I tryed to avoid the asault of my own crown.
Soon my hour in the sun was finished and I fled inside for protection against the flys.
"Egads! What do you call that?!" said a voice.
I turned to see Death Dealer and the Teddy Bear. I smiled.
"Its a swim suit." I said.
We walked into the court and greatly enjoyed conversation.
"Do you enjoy your Kingdom?" asked Death Dealer.
"Its funny. My crown is a wreath of flys. My Priest is Judas and my Advisor a Black beast. I don't . truely rule.
"Yet I love this Kindom. I love it with all my heart. I'll defend it, Guide it, Rule it, Someday. I'll die deffending this palace. I know that.
"I'll die and be hung by my own people with barb-wire instead of rope. And I'll probibly give it to them."
To soon did my firends have to leave. But leave they did.
I then turned and helped take care of Loki. He is ill and even went to bed before dark.

© 1998 October (Date implied by entry date, Date of copyright covers web publication)