Book 2 June 9 1983 to December 12 1983

8311.25

WE WEAR THE MASK
We wear the mask that grins and lies,
It hides our cheeks and shades our eyes,
This debt we pay to human guile;
With torn and bleeding hearts we smile,
And mouth with myriad subtleties.

Why should the world be overwise,
In counting all our tears and sighs?
Nay, let them only see us, while
. . We wear the mask.

We smile, but, O great Christ, our cries
To thee from tortured souls arise.
We sing, but oh, the clay is vile
Beneath our feet, and long the mile;
But let the world dream otherwise,
. . We wear the mask.
--Paul Laurence Dunbar (1872-1906)--

I had a horrid vision.

Time ran amok. All came to my mask and my shields barly held. I wanted to help, but the lies ran to deep.
As I ran around trying to help, as always Death Dealer about to put my fat out of the fire, an accident occured. I was hurt badly, and may masks were riped away.
Much flesh was riped away. I bled deeply yet I had no muscel, no tendons, no bones. I was a mechanism, made to be human.
In my need, one of my lies apeared. I, Death Dealer and Thorn were brought aboard as I was repaired physicaly and fell apart mentally.
Then came the last of it. I was a mechanism, built by a truth, not my lies. The truth had what to me were lies. I new how to work the truths, that were my lies, because the true sent to me these memories. Who was the true truth? Death Dealer.
Death Dealer was the truth, he stored it me as lies. Once discovered and realized, he destroyed me as easily as I was made.
I don't like being a mechanized lie.

*I'm sitting here trying to decide if I should explain this any more then it is. I think all I'll add is that this 'vision' would have been a story that evolved in my head from the 'lies' of my being an alien.*

8311.26

Death Dealer's teacher of the art was back. Death Dealer changed and molded us into a new world. We had fun.
David Damnation, thief, Neutral Good corrupted to Neutral Evil by his Chaotic Evil partner. His partner, ½ Orc warrior with a temper.
In the course of less then 16 hours of life our characters caused much damage and became very rich in this future world. It started with a beer glass. *All Marc's adventures start here :)*
We were in a bar someone threw a beer glass that hit my chaotic Evil partner. The fun began.
He then killed three men with his blaster rifle and as we left he threw in an Obliterator, killing 15Ø people. Went back in and looted the money from the clothes of 153 ash piles.
We then deposited the money in our bank and went roller skating. As my brutish friend rolled around beating on people, I worked the crowd as a pickpocket. One rich man, caught by the beatiful woman. As the manager comes after me, I elude and pickpocket him.
We leave. As I make my depoist in the bank, my parner sat on the insurance building shooting bypassers. As I returned he shot the skate manager as he realized his wallet was gone.

A plan hatches. We trot down to the police station (witch has been searching for us for the 'disturbance' at the bar), and into there parking lot. Caught in the well light lot we bribe the two gaurds at 1Ø,ØØØ tarots each. They walk off content as I pick the lock to the police chiefs car and my partner places packet bombs under the cars with 10 min. delay and wields 15 car handles closed with a wrist laser.
In the car we rip out at 80 MPH. On the way my partner blows to pieces the men to which we owe collectively 2Ø,ØØØ tarots. As we leave there is an explostion and the cops lose us when we hit 25Ø M.P.H. with the sirens on.
We reach the next town, strip the car and take the radios to a pawn shop. There I rake in 1,ØØØ tarots from the radio's. Then my partner takes his rifle to the owner. The owner pulls out an obliterator. We leave. Once outside my Orc champanion blows out the window, shreding the shop owner. As he goes in and gets the money. I work the gathering crowd. One, two, caught by the third. Held by the throat I put my foot in his groin sending his testicales into his stomach. I take his money and we leave.
We steal another car, My partners . was brutish but effective. Placing a shock disc on him and laughing as he cunvulsed.
My partner driving, we played chicken with many a semi.
Pulling a repeat of the striped car and pawn shop hold up, He kills the owner and three bystanders I pick there bodies and one passer by.
We go to a bar to quench our thurst and run into emediate trouble. There is one easily spoted, sitting isolated and armed. My partner aims his rifle, I duck knowing trouble comes. A light shuriken flys before the shot is fired cuting my partners arm, just enough to believe. I expect a monsterous rebuttle but am amazed with 'We're leaving now.' We walk out the door and when were there He turns and throws an obliterator. 25Ø dead, the troublemaker still alive. The third level assasin and my partner fight as I go in, pickpocket and collect money from the dead and dieing.
I come out and see a badly hurt troublemaker and a slain partner. Troublemaker turns and throws a light shuriken. I duck and fire. With the wound suffered before and this shot his arm falls off. To be careful I shot the downed corpse again.

I rush my partner to the hospital and he is repaired and recovering
In two weeks or so we resume play. My firends death count at 26Ø some, and us both very rich.

This game was fun, and felt normal to me. A thief preceeded by destruction. He kills and I feed off the dead, and steal from the living.

8311.27

The vision of me as a mechanism continues. This disturbs me, and of late the vision ends in the mechanism's destruction.
Death Dealer and I went out today. In the darkness we sat, we watched, we laughed, and we met a child.
This child, at an age of 7 took to Death Dealer right off. It remineded me of Nathan at the renasontes festivile. Death Dealer has such an way with young life.

Do you believe in heaven above,
Do you believe in love?
Then send me an angel,
But let him be from hell.
Feel not my touch, ever,
But let his burn my soul and sear my flesh.
Let me die and grieve not.

8311.28

The mechanism visions continue.
In this form I threaten death to all who come near me. Death Dealer dared to try and calm this mad mechanism, me.
I brutally beat him, my friend. I put him gainst a tree ready to deliver the death blow, but it never comes. I love him to much to kill him, even when I'm not me.
To stop me, he had to, I forced him into the position to, he didn't want to, kill me. He struck the blow out of love that I hesitated to throw for the same reasons.
Granted death by his hand, he foreced life back into me, the mechanism.
'I live!' I yell. 'I LIVE!!' I scream to the storms and heaven above. I turn and sieze Death Dealer, tightly.
"WHY!" I growl and scream as my eyes burn.
Death Dealer fights my reply, I fight back at him. In my rage as a mechanism, I slay him.
The death blow came as easy as the grief that followed.
In my grief, and with my powers as a mechanism; I resurect him a man, not a mechamism. In my last act I die as a man, not a mechanism, a Man.

8311.29

Indian in black. You are friend, Sensi, and vision.
As a friend you are unique. I've known you only shortly, yet you are closer than Theseus. We met and you know, empathicly, what I feel, and what to do. You speak when I need conversation, you're silent when I search myself. You dare stop me from striking in total blindness, and try to pry me out into the light.
As a Sensi you are bested only by Death Dealer. You teach me skill, and honors. You share yourself and alow me to see myself through you.
As a vision, I'm sorry to know you because of me. You are a perfect man physicly. You are in touch with your spirit and soul. And you are so kind in heart. Thus in the Darkness of my mind you are forced to walk a wire.
To the right of this wire is a safe ledge, where I want him. To the wrong is a black abis, where I pull him.
You are a man of skill and a master of an art, that makes it difficult for you.
I'm sorry.

. . . . DDK *Skull insignia*

8311.3Ø

The night was full and fullfilling.
The Curled Mohawk asked Death Dealer and I to be present at the showing of his bands video-music-performance.
Yet this scene was struck with tragidy. Fred, the mohawked little troll and traveling companion to the Curled Mohawk, was Kidnaped. I was duped into delivering the ransom note.
He will be returned if all demands are met. The culprets want $5,ØØØ in unmarked gitaur picks, all the bands lefts ear-rings (only gold) and all rights to there songs with a 5Ø% cut.
The demands are steep. I have devised a plan that I shall present tomorrow, and/or help in anyway I can.

Death Dealer and I went out and ate. We talked to great lengths and laughed a great deal.

I was in total controll of myself. Not one thought or image entered my mind unless I wanted it to.

To day is the day of a past marrage. The link is still strong. Death Dealers creators celebrate, and I showed my thanks for there wonderful byproduct of love,
. . Death Dealer.

8312.02 considered

Yesterday it was late before I came back about the house. The Thorn I drag out from his own words. To one used to running only orally, he ran quite well.
We ran to Death Dealers home were Death Dealer took a like to Thorn and showed away many secretes. I was impercivibly angry again. If battle had ever broken out between Thron and I, surprise would have been my aid. Now its not as strong an alliy.
I say again because I have been angry at one thing or another consantly for the last week. I resolve no longer to be so angry. I am going to come to terms with myself and controll what I find.
Today much has happened. Work set me behind as did the Beast and the morning meal elude me once again (the main reason for my irratiblitiy). Then in my haste the order of law came down on my head and my trusty stead. And 'Justice' was done.
Then came a meaningless day clouded by anger and hate and contrempt. Then I decided to be angry no longer.
Death Dealer and I got together.
Then in entrance to my room I discovered a secreted . gift, left by a friend of great importance to me.
A saber, made black and new, left with a letter of the ancients. First fear, wonder, awe, anger and then great thanks as I learned the perpitrator by letter.

Death Dealer you are the greatest ever. I cannot give you enough of myself to show my gratitude. Not for the saber, which I shall cherish allways, but for being my friend, a true friend.

To sleep I spirit for it is late and I wish not to keep the Dealer awake. I have controll total controll of myself. Death Dealer will sleep, and I will lie.

8312.03

We awoke when we went to bed. From AM to PM by 12 we slept.
Then to my horror and Death Dealers half-joy we our world covered in a blanket of white death.
Balor lives in the future too. The name and style is different but the purpose is the same. David Damnation is the name.
David is blatant in his style, he's out to do only only one thing backed by another. Steal and fight.

I awoke like David Damnation. I turned to the bronzed semi-resting body of Death Dealer, and made my playful attack. David thieved well for a score minus ten minutes.
At the end of this David was banquished by me when death Dealer abruptly woke me by siezeing the apple of adam and accidentily bringing me to the verge of disspilling the contents of my empty innereds.

I look now upon the black handled katana gifted to me by Death Dealer. He gave it in love, yet I know he would use it upon me in hate if he knew. I love the gift, I'll use it in my practices.

*Drawing of the Katana. A shuriken (throwing star). A man, head thrown back in pain (or grief) with his hands held palm out and forward ... with blood dripping from his wrists. At the end of the Katana is written ...*
I feel .. ..
. . . .wrong.

8312.04

My room has become like my life. Baron with only a few segnifacant peices in it. I only wish my life were like this room.
My room can be rearranged, removed, remodled, replaced, over-hauled, left alone, or simpy cleaned out as its being done.
Your life can do none of these things. Whats done is done, and usally not even by yourself. Your life, unlike your room, is often modled and arraged by outside people. This can often cause you to rearrange a few serface peaces, but you can never change your room.
Yet as I have, people often fill there rooms with themselves. Time-pieces, weapons, blackness and demons are what my room is filled with.

Its late much has to happen tommorrow. I'll need the rest.

8312.05

Slept I did last night. Lieing warnly in my electric blanket. Warm as I was, I decided to try something anciently new. I slept like cat, wolf, hawk and shark. In the skin nature gave me.
My room cleaned it was not. Delayed it stays barren till after mid-week.

My guiding light waftes away from me. The ladder I made to climb after her shakes at the base! I'll climb though! The rungs I make from here on will be strong.
Smoke fills the house from a guest we wanted not. I choke now and then but I'll live. She, however, won't, not for long anyway.
The Indian in black recently has been fading from my view. He seems to be drifting back though, coming closer. Yet the closer he comes, the taunter the wire he walks in my mind.
White death falls and my blackness stands out. I hate the pure white cold of snow for I am the corrupt black heat of the beast. This substance forces me to do to much.
Death Dealer would shame and dishonor me if he knew. I'll make sure he doesn't. Yet I am proud, for I feel I'm getting better.
The mechanizm of me still lives in my mind. I' tring to find it a home. A home were it can exist, for it can never be happy.

DDK __ *Skull insignia*

8312.06

My mood was the worst. A pakage delieved by a short hand with no adress. I had to send this existant pakage to a nonexistant place. Needless to say I failed.
I seem to do this often. I don't like it. I climb a shaby later, trying to make new, stronger rungs. But I tree I take them from is rotted.

Demons dressed in black and red,
.Climb up all over my bed.
. They all brandish a tool long and hot,
. Staring at that one little spot.
.I scream in Rage and Fear,
. Yet I know, no one will hear.
. .Just to be tender, Just to be true,
. . These words and actions I begin to rue.
. . Moving like one they all attack,
. . .I simply have a cardiac.
. . . To there sweet medevil torture,
. . . .I estaticly give in.
. . . . Yet shall no one know through what
. . . . . . . I've been.

The light would shine dimly upon this, but I don't care.
The light needs to dim here, for late the oil burns.
My flesh to sleep.

8312.07

I am in darkness. I walk on a narrow plank lined in red. To my sides I hear water laping against the sides of my path. My path ends in a circle, the lines of red met the circle and line it as well.
I stand on the circle, my path ended. There is suddenly fire. It leaps up about me, threating to consume me. The fire clams, and there is a dim light on my surroundings.
There is water all about me. A pace or two infront of me lies a bench - like a judges desk. Behind this bench is the siloute of a fat man. To its right is a dias.
I'm on trail, and they call the first witness. A man covered in black, with sinsister white eyes holes and red chains printed on his coustume, is the first and only withness against me.
'Who is he?!' I demand. The black mask is removed, as with all his suit. His body was that of Adonis and Hesphestus. His tool held in the right hand, spernd me with white fire. His face was terrifying. Engulfed in flame was the melting and shifting face of all my friends.
Guilty was the descision. My platform pitched. I fell and died in the watery acids.

8312.08

The house was cleansed. Yet it looks no different. For my room it was a waste.
I lost my keys. I borrowed one from mother to work my chariot. All others be gone at present.

The light came close today. She gave me a Tesst. But her brillance was to much, the heat easily burnt the rotting wood of my ladder.
I knew I was doomed. I fell fast and hard. I landed with a well deserved thud.
Theres nothing like a teacher good enought to make me feel inferior enough to learn.
The white haired Gentelman did it, so does my guiding light. Death Dealer, Theseus, and the Indian in black do the same in a different area.
Only one other has taught me, well. But he taught different. 'Learn by doing. If you make a mistake, we both learn.' He taught me to express myself in the way I enjoy most.

I thank all my teachers.

. . . DDK *skull insignia*

8312.09 considered

We spent time together yet we were apart. I drifting once again.
Death Dealer has taken under his wing my thorn. I don't really know why. Being an adolesent I have many self centered ideas about it, but I know there wrong.
The more I look and think about it, the more I know the truth. The Thron and Death Dealer naturally hit it off. They have things in common to share, which I may never have (problems with women), and there opposites attract.
The Thorn and I are freinds. He's in my side, needleing me, but he's there.
I became quite intacocated, then quite ill after having, in my drunken stuper, walked miles in the cold talking to myself, wondering when my fingers would fall off since I couldn't feel them.

The Thorn wished to spar, I wanted to knock his block off. I restrained, like before I became only deffensive. The Thorn didn't want to start it, he tried to goad me into it. I refused tempation. Nothing became of the battle.
. . Thank god.

8312.11

This day of rest was not one for me, as was the day before.
I spent yesterday and today speedily trying to get things done. I still have not finished.
I reveal in the music from the radio. I would listen to the lyrics and wonder.

'Do you believe in heaven above,
Do you believe in Love,
Its easy to be unlicky in Love,
Send me and Angel'
Death Dealer calls this his song. He believes it symbolises his love life.
He's not unlucky in love. at least he's had it, been able to try it, and seek it without fear of death. I'm dieing from the inside out, but it doesn't make a difference. I've never lead a life.
Death Dealer, you above all lead a life I envy. Any life I've led, I've leedhed from you and a few others.

I can't wirte anymore without losing my grip. My mind is racing. I will rest it now So I be ready for the morrow.

God help any and all
who have the mis-
fortune to know
Me, DDK
. . . . . . . . . . . . . /______

8312.12

Shit God Damn Son of Bitch!!!
I can't seem to do any thing right when it comes to Death Dealer or learning!
First I said fuck the Guilding light I can't climb that fast!
Then I went to do a favour for myself and family. I returned and found two practice swords here. I asumed in my vainity and conciete he left a gift as before. I was correct in asuming I wasn't worth it and returned them to his home.
I returned home to find Death Dealer here. He brought them here to show me, not to give them to me.
. . I felt like a conceded fool !!!
I left Death Dealer here in wonder as I raced back and removed the ugly face of concete in my note.
We then went about an evening only to have him leave. As he left his mother appeared - a good hearted woman with a narrow mind set in concrete! We talked, I listened, tactfully stated my dissagreements, and let her leave believing victory.
Death Dealer calls about the absents of my afore mentioned note. I tell him I removed it, and then his mother was here.
He then became angry at . her reasons and I at my big God Damn Mouth!
He told me to say goodbye or he would hang-up so he could "Destroy" his Mother.
I begged him not to do it but he has.
I scream, yell, and Damn myself the fool for conciete and a big mouth!
Why must it be me.

Death Dealer please forgive me. I don't know why you keep me around.
Your a Damn good Man, and i merely your shadow.

Signed repentantly;

damnon d'artagnon killgrave.