Book 1 1982 October 1 to 1983 June 8

8211.02

Oh, what tangeled webs we weave when we practice to decieve.

I ran into a snag in my web as I tried to unwind it, yet sustain it. I plan to cut the snag of lies with the sharp sisors of desete *deceit*. But I have time, lots of time, so I will procede slowly and carefully to cut this powerful snag.

Will the Blood of this sin never leave my Hands?!

8211.03

I am the peace-keeper, the truce-maker, the hero with a weapon, the Enforcer.
My life is a game of Russian rulete. Every corner, turn, hallway, home, encounter, may be my death.

Picture - I'm in school, its late at night. There is a burglar, somewhere in the building, some-where lurking, waiting his chance. I feel a presence, I hear a sound. I draw my weapon, a thunder-rod with the lightning that kills.
Counter Picture - I walk into a blank room, with only two chairs facing each other and a desk between them. I take my seat and face an oponiet I can't see. The silence is thick as I a six-chance-one-shot-weapon on the table.
P- I grip the thunder-rod tight in my sweety hands. I press my back up against the cold, hard wall. My weapon ready. I come to a corner.
CP- I sieze the one-shot weapon and place it to my head. A sweaty hand places the cold, hard barrel to my temple and pulls back the hammer.
P- I hear another noise. I tence, and jump arund the corner, weapon ready.
CP- I tense, a finger pulls back on the trigger. I hear a noise. A small ... click!
. . Relife. But these rules are different. He doesn't take the chance on my side, but he knows where the shot is.
P- I walk slowly down the dark corridor, listening to my footsteps echo in the cold.
. . Another corner. I ready, tense, and jump!
CP- the gun still in place, I pull back the hammer, tense, and pull the trigger. The tension grows as I hear another ... click!
. . The hammer seems to pull itself back as I hear the barrel smap into place.
P- A noise! Behind me! I turn quickly and aim ... at a fleeting shadow. No! Fleaing shadow!
CP- Again, sweaty fingers pull back a hammer and tense on the trigger.
P- I run toward the shadow. I reach the corner and without thinking run around. Bam!
CP- Click!
P- A bullet reckocheas off the wall near my head. Again a fleeing shadow.
. . I run.
CP- Again the hammer falls back and the barrel snaps into place.
P- A corridor. With many holes and shadows. A Gauntlet. I walk slowly, very slowly. I step into a pitch black shadow. Noise. turn! Point! Aim!
CP- Click! the shadow figure snears. He knows I'll die soon.
P- Nothing. My imagination? Maybe. I press on, step, by step, by ... step.
CP- The hammer begins to fall.
P- I see a shadow down the hall. I freeze and aim.
CP- the barrel snaps into place.
P- "Freeze! Or I'll shot!"
CP- I squeeze the trigger ...
P- The shadow moves fast, it pulls a weapon and fires at me.
CP- Click! One left. Only one.
P- I fall to the ground and roll as the bullet hits the wall above me.
CP- Hammer, barrel, trigger ...
P- My adrenilin flows as my chin grips the cold floor.
CP- Courage!
P- I point ...
CP- my gun ...
P- at the ...
CP- Shadow,
P- And
CP- fire
P- into
CP- the
P- dark
CP- Bam!
. . . . End game!

8211.04

My free day! Spent it well and unwisely.

I have yet to prepare for two challenges tommorrow. One in the morrning, that is non-existant ; dealing with rebirth, love, Orgies, and trust.

The second challenge of the mind and the powers there of ... you percevie?

But the day was wisely spent with freinds and the presious gift of Laughter. The most joyous sound in the universe. Laughter ... it filled a viod in me with joy. It has been a long time since I laughed so hard, or I made someone laugh.

What a joyous world it'd be if all could laugh. Just laugh.

8211.05

The challenges were met and defeated, the judges make there desicions.

Tomorrow the Calm struggleing alien runs for his life tommorrow against the promising stranger of an afilated group. An Old friend whom I'll call theAngel of middle-land down, is coming with us to the town of Topped Gentelman to watch the run. I wish the Calm Struggling alien the best, but May the Best and most diserving win the victory!

The weekend
spent with an old friend.

8211.06

By threat of life and limb.
Could I handle this?
I believe ye. Though I have no want, I could face the grim visage of the reaper.
Of limb? In most cases yes.
Eyes- I could function with one, I would suffer the loss of art but survive with none.
My Voice - I could get by.
Hearing - Mom says I faced this already. I'm here and whole, surly I could do it again.
Hands - lose my left, no los, lose my right suffer but live. lose both, suffer live and cope.
Legs,- I've done without both, I can could cope with one.
Combinations - As long as I have my hands and eyes I happy. Art. My voice an/or hands would carry me on. Writing.
As long as I have one, I live. lose them all, ...? I don't know.

*I had many ear infections as a child. My Mother told me that at one time I was probably about 80% deaf, but the infections cleared up and I don't really remember this. In my youth I also had this odd habit of trying to see what it would be like if I lost something. I would try to exercise my arms by pretending my legs didn't work and would scoot around the house using my arms and climb things letting them dangle. I would also walk around with my eyes closed pretending to be blind. I don't know why I did these things but it did show me that no matter what happened I thought I could deal with the loss of anything. Of course I was dealing with it under the premise that if it got to hard or I was tired of it - I could stop.*

8211.07

Mistakes we learn by them, and we laugh at them.
Boy! do we laugh at them!

8211.08

I walk down a barron, white, hall. All is silent but my steps, heart and breath.
I stop, and wonder. Pondering the place I'm in.
"Where am I?" I voice aloud against the deafing roar of silence. The silence is them shattered like a mirror by child like laughter.
Footsteps and an explenation.
"You are here." said the child voice. "That is obvious because you aren't there. So here you shall remain, never coming a step closer to there."
The footsteps continue, becoming louder and heavier.
"Who are you?" I asked the voice.
Suddenly infront of me stood a tall muscular man with dark hair and eyes, dressed in black, saying in a deep voice
"Ask you'reself the question you ask me and maybe find the answer true. Be honest and find the clue."
I stared into the dark, sharp, features of the goutee'd face.
A head band contianed the jet black sholck of curly hair, and seemed to cover a multitude of scares.
"Are you me?"
"There is dout? Then it must not be true!"
"You are me! Aren't you!?"
"To late, to late! Wrong once and always. I could have been, but no more. And here is why."
He vanished and the silence was torn asunder by a screeching whistle behind me. I turned quickly to see the dark figure at the end of the hall throw an object and vanish again.
The object toward me at amazing speed, slicing the air around it whistling through the air with a sound of death.
There was a sudden thunk and a spurt of blood and pain as a playing card stuck and burried itself in my chest.
The pain racking my body I siezed and pulled out the card, to see a blood stained Ace of Spades. I felt death breathing on my shoulder as my own became scant and shallow.
"Damn you! Damn you however you are!"
"I am you. You comited this crime, you Damn yourself!"
Thus said the subconscience to the conscience in a deep, deep sleep.

8211.09

observation; the silent justice isn't really that he's more the Empath.

Dreams are life and reality run rampant.
Ideas become abstract, friends ideas.
Example; homework, work, 4 day weekend.

I run down an empty hall with a vicious monster in persute. Run, run faster! Its gaining on you. I'm going to make it! I look back and see the monster a fair distance back, then look forward the image echted in my mind.
No! I trip over a Roseta stone to english by math and scream as the monster siezes my form.
The beast drags me miles then roars in triumph as it throughs me into a black, star-less void. My body goes limp and floats yet is exhausted, but my mind is tired and hyper active.
Gears turn. Engines roar and drowned the sound of the monster. I make the gears move. Me. I through the monster in and he is chewed into a million pieces then vanisheses. I win!

8211.1Ø *Actually my slashes go the right but this is the only one the computer has*

The Dominator is back. He's at it again! I'm in the Dominator city agian. I despise it! I hate being dominated, drilled with dumb questions and remarks, false sympathyes and concerns, he's selfishness dominating mine, and being treated as a child who hasn't grown physicaly or mentally.

I Hate the Dominator.

8211.11

The weekend warriors against one full time killer from the Un-war which blew out the minds of men. He lost all he had in the Un-war known as Viet-nam, his freinds, his sanity, his morals, his Humanity! A one man war machine that acts like an animal but thinks like a man.

They drew first blood not he! He didn't want the war! No! not another! But they fought. He will survive! Yes Survive! He will live, be, and left alone! So he fights back against the weekend warriors, fights! One against a million, trained killer possesed against the untrained idot warriors. He could kill them all, he could! But he didn't! Why! why? ---------->*arrow to next page*

Because he thinks like a man! He didn't want the war. He didn't want the killing. He fights but he cares! Yes. Cares! He values life and innocents and has to deal with the ignorant. He won't kill innocents and ignorants now, though forced in the Un-war, not now. He will punish but he won't kill.

"I love!" he cries. "Don't want to kill! Just leave me alone! I fought the way I was trained for an Idea I believed in! And you persicute me! Me! Why?! You sent me!
"Leave me alone! I only want friends. family. and some stability. Get me away from the killing!"

He won't kill, he cares, he could kill, he wouldn't even have to think about it, but he won't. Won't!

Take me as your friend. I wouldn't mind. not at all.

8211.12

Damon D'artagnon Killgrave, Master Mage, Soccerer Supreme.
Dressed in a flowing black buckener shirt attached to long belowing cape. The shirt tied to waist, over his black pants, by a black shash, a symbol of his mastery over his body. The pants tucked neatly into his calf-high, black leather boots. A black head band dangels from his curly black locks, resting upon the top of his black shaded glases. His steel hard face locked into place by a van-dyke beard of short black hair.
Damon Killgrave, Occult investigator. Same features, head band and glasses. Wearing black western styled shirt, covered by a shiny black leather jacket, and belled pants flowing over black leather boots.

Raven Dye Darkholme, soccerous Supreme. Number one Witch. Long straight black hair, hugging on oval face of royal and mysterious features. Her exquisite femenin figure is hugged by a long black silken gown, a golden belt of beads hangs losely around her hips.
Raven Darkholme, Astrologist, fortune teller, occult advisor, the same all around.
These two dark forms, allways fighting for right, Magicly bring forth two twin children of Wizard rank.

Thor Logan Killgrave, blonde, tan and masucline, and image to rival Apollo, power to rival Thor or Zues! Born to magic with the power of lighting.

His twin sister Blair Van Darkholme. A white whitch, with the power of illusion and prophacy.

Together a force to be rekoned with.

*In case you didn't know I've been creating super heroes for a long time and this is only one set of them that I have. I've mentioned others in here and have developed them further elsewhere and one day hope to have them all see the light of comic publication.*

8211.13

I see a little situeta *silhouette* of a man, Got a Moose! Got a Moose! Can you do the Fandango! Thunderbolt and lighting Very very frighting me! Galilao! Galilao! Galilao!
I'm just a poor boy from a poor family.
He's just a poor boy from a poor family, spare him his life from this monstrosity!
I'm just a poor boy nobody loves me, will you let me go?
Vismilla Nooo! Will not let him go!
Let me go!
Vismilla Nooo! Will not let him go!
Let me go!
Nooo! Will not let you go
Noooo! No!
All in all, I'm just another brick in the wall.
Another brick ... another brick
Another brick ... brick ... brick!

*Just in case you don't know - I'm quoting the lyrics of "Bohemian Rhapsody" by Queen and "Another brick in the wall" from Pink Flyod's the Wall.*

8211.14

I killed the moster work because it's in the draw of the cards which also lined my love life.

Life line, laughter galore, Gay lore, Lorine, Christine,

Trapped! Like a rat on a mat in a cat! which swallowed the mouse which swollowed the fly all in the old ladys stomach! Ahahhhh!

He flys across the room with incredible speed and ... Ow! ... Hits the wall with great force! There are men craping him off the walls right kn now, while the asslaent continues ....

Blinded by the light that came from the blind! .... Isn't that ironic? ... Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! ... Ha! ... Ha ... ha ... hut-humm!

I'm all right now. but the white jacket pinches.

Oh! My god! Ha! Ain't that a laugh. I don't have one. Nah!

Stormtroopers, Snake skin cowboys oh no! They have me in a strange=Choke= hold!

Freedom! Just what the Doctor ordered, help me Queen of the forest, this is a moter city Mad house, moter city mad house, moter city mad house, moter city mad house, Smack! Smack! ........... Thanks ... I needed that.

Reality now, ... I was just a little crazy a mituet ago.
I'm fine now. Reality ... Reality .... reality ... reality ...
Reality!!!! Oh, No!!!
Citys, loud noises, lights, choas, people, uncareing
"Whatch it bub! move it Mac!"
And the cars, honk! honk! beep! beep! Roar! Zoom! Screech! Skid! Bang! Boom! the buildings! high metall towers touching the sky, falling falling! falling in me!
Nooo! Aaaahhhh!!!!!
--------- .......
He was dead as a door nail in minutes after being acsposed the normal life after 1 year in captivity.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Coriner's report.
Brrrrrr! chick! chick! chick! chick! chick! Bam! "Shit!"

8211.15

He was tired, exhausted.
He layed down, his eyes closed, and he slept.
The body relaxes, the mind thinks. He enters the REM level of sleep. The body is relaxed, the mind is hard at work. Thinking, ticking, calculating, dreaming.
His eyes move rapidly from side to corner, corner to bottom, bottom to side, side to side ... he dreams.
He strolls through a forest. The mind relaxes. REM level is ceased we go deeper. Brain waves slow down. Nightmares!
I'm lost! Where am I?
the trees all look the same. help! Help!
Deeper, slower, more relaxed.
Roar! Growl! Grrrr! Howl!
My god! the trees are alive!
Help there grabing me! Chokeing me .... can't breath! H .. he .. help!!
Deeper, slower, more relaxed. bodily functions slow. Resperation; four times a minute, shallow, Heart; eight beats a minute, strong. Muscles; totally relaxed, Stress; None.
Ch ... cho ... choking ... m .. me! H ... help! Ckkaahhack!
. . Vital signs; None.
Gasp! I'm alove, alive!
. . Vital signs; normal
"God, I'm tired!"

8211.16

The day the doom ships came. The giant stone figure called the grand inquisitor step down and tried the world.
"I find this world Guilty of the following crimes; Immoral actions thoughts and ideas!"
"What about me!" cried a small voice.
"The hunting, harming, and wronging thoughs of your own spieces!"
"What about me!" cried the persistant voice of one small individual.
"Of discrimination of fellow spieces by unimportant factors!"
"What about me!" cried the voice of the small boy.
"Of desicrating your world by poring pollutants into the land, air, and sea, and plundering it's natural resourses!"
"What about me!" the pierceing voice yelled.
"Being unable to accept ..."
"What about me!"
"...alien and sentinate beings be ..."
"What about me!"
"... because of ..."
"What about me!"
"What about you?" the being asked
"You judge them, yet not me. Don't I count?"
"I judge you as whole. You are no different from the rest."
"Don't I count?"
"No. You are but on individual in a spiece of thousands. You live on a world which is the sieze of dust compared to others, which floats in a galaxy of trillions of other planets. You are nothing on the cosmic scale, and nothing on a planetary scale. You are nothing."
"You are incapable of judging us!"
"What?!"
"You are insane! For only the insane talk to nothing, and the insane are incapable as judges."
"You are wrong. You are incabable to judge me, for you are only .... human."
"You are guilty of discrimination by uninportant factors!"
"You are still nothing. An insect on a dustmote of the galaxy."
"Guilty of immoral thoughts and ideas."
"Preposterous!"
"Your beat! Leave now! And don't come back until capible of judging us."
And the doom ships left never to be seen again on earth. For the great inquisitor reallized he'd been beat by the only innocent, One small blind child who had no limbs.

8211.17

Conflicts, urges, knowledge, confusion, no help.

I am who I am, but I am flawed in an unnatural way that I am ashamed of. I know the flaw yet I am helpless to correct it.

I want to talk, but I had on one to turn to, no one I know would understand.

I am very frightend, if I take the chance, what would happen? I am asured of ruff times and theres a good bet I could lose everything I hold dear ... my friends.

Who do I turn to to remove me from under the giant stone witch rules my life.

Pull! Pull me out from under this terrible stone.

The stone is big, to wieghty. Another couldn't draw a sword from it. Hercules couldn't move it. I stay like Promethus, pined to the rock and subject to torcher!

If only I could be asured that Death dealer, or the Calm struggling alien, or anyone wouldn remain with me. Anyone! Who could except me, stay by me, be my freind.

Anyone! Death Dealer, Calm Struggling Alien, the Empath, the Awaiting traveler, Outspoken drum, the Indian in Black, the Debater, .... .... Anyone!
Who would stand by me?!
Who?! Who?! who?!
No one speaks! No One!

I am forever cursed to stay beneath the rock, Forever!

Not even my fictions can save me. No one.

8211.18

Another from the Un-war, fighting for right. A whole man in spirit, half physicly. Long brown hair, and a scragly beard matching his black, ominous eye patch. His right eye gleams with deternination as his strong right hand clutches a cane to support his shattered left leg. From his left elbow hangs a knot, for there is no hand.

His charater is cruel and brazen, yet appealing. Irrational and drunken, yet smart and clever. He's a physological war-rior, and a Damn good one.
"Justice! Don't talk to me about justice! I'm going to nail his ass to the wall! if you don't!"

8211.19

Zimmerman effect, to wit; What would happen if an irrasistable force met with an immovable object?
The irrasistable force; the Micro-god, creator and controller of all. Price for being all powerful; insanity!
The immovable object' the space wall, a barrier between all we know and all we will never know.
Object; Irrasitable force to move immovable object so sentienient life may gain more knowledge .... Admerable.
Result; Irrasistabe force met immovable object head on. One large bang on collision and irrasitable force phases through immovable object, thus immovalbe object isn't moved, and irrasitable force isn't stopped.

Futher results; Micro-god is on other side of space-wall, absorbing at incredible speed, knowledge never meant to be learned, known or thought.
Futher results; Micro-god gains total knowledge, retains total power, and goes irrevokablly and totally insane, and dies.
For even a god can not gain total knowledge and total power that fast and handle the load. Thus even the most power mind will overload, emplode, expand, emplode, ever gaining mass and die by non-biological functions or inability to cope.
Thus I know, thus I learn, thus I ... I ... Iiieeeaaaaahhhh!!!!!!!
*Picture of a warped face reflecting the galaxy and another crying with the galaxy in his mouth.*
Turner's guess;
can an irrasistable force met an immovable object?

© 1997 October (Date implied by entry date, Date of copyright covers web publication)